Every time I walk into a store, and it doesn’t matter which store. I get asked at least 3 times, “Do you work here?” Not even kidding. I can be in the lightbulb aisle all by my lonesome and somebody will come along and say, “Excuse me, do you work here?”
Staring at the wall o’ paper towels, “Uh, do you work here?”
Picking out strawberries. “Um, can you tell me where the paperclips are?”
It’s fucking annoying and makes me question my choice of outfit for the day, and that’s fucking annoying.
No. No, I don’t work here and no. I can’t tell you where the fucking paperclips are
located, scattered, made.
So, before the bazillionth person asks me, “Do you work here?” Lemma’ break it down so that there can never be any confusion ever again.
CLUES THAT LET YOU KNOW I DON’T FUCKING “WORK HERE”
1.) I speak English.
Don’t give me any flack on this one because you all know it’s true. Nine times out of ten, when you can actually find a store employee to ask them a question, they BARELY speak English.
FYI, the name tag with 28 letters in their first name. That’s a dead giveaway.
I wrote about them in this post, ‘The Store We Love To Hate.’
2.) Am I wearing a vest of ANY kind of any color?
Lemme’ answer that for you. That’s a big fat NO! No, I’m not. Why? Because I NEVER wear vests. Not for anything or anytime for anyone.
Me + Vest = Not fucking happening.
3.) Am I wearing a “Tim Allen” DIY apron of any color and did you find me standing at the end of a light fixture aisle or toilet aisle?
No. No, I’m not and no. No, you didn’t. Why? Because the only place you’ll find me wearing an apron is in my own fucking kitchen and ONLY during the holidays.
You may find me at this aisle. I won’t be wearing an apron though.
Chances are, I won’t be wearing anything at all.
4.) Am I wearing a name tag, khakis, a green, red, blue, or black shirt with a company logo of any kind on it and is there a 10ft lanyard hanging around my neck with another name tag and 100 keys?
No, no, and no???
Then guess what the answer is boys and girls…
5.) And the number one clue that lets you know, I don’t fucking work here?
If you saw me PICK SOMETHING UP (work) AND PUT IT BACK WHERE IT ACTUALLY BELONGS (again, work)….
I DON’T FUCKING WORK HERE!In other news – Zip, zero, nada. Been busy sewing and beating this heat which is finally cooling off into the 90’s and that’s okay by me! It was so windy last night I thought a storm was blowing in but nope. It’s Idaho. We rarely get storms but we do have fires and I don’t even want to think about what that wind did to those.
I’m going to get my hair cut today and run some errands.
Mimi’s quote for the day –