Tag: nablopomo november 2016

life

WHAT DO WE NEED???

Magical Mystical Mimi16 Comments

That’s right folks. We need more butthurt.
Why? Because we don’t have enough people being offended in this country.
Remember my post from yesterday about the celebrity couple dressing up for Halloween as a pilgrim and an Indian and everybody being offended?
If not, you can read it here.

Well,  because I didn’t want to travel down all of the roads under construction to get to my regular stores, today, I had to go into that store we all love to hate, Walmart.
You can read how much I loathe love Walmart, here.

All was well. I found everything I needed. I actually got into a checkout lane where my cashier spoke English AND another employee who also spoke English helped bag my groceries!
What the hell? I had to check the signs around the store.
Was I really in Walmart?? I was feelin’ a happy dance coming on and then, boom.
Yep. I was in the right store alright.
Fucking Walmart…

Apparently. SOMEBODY GOT FUCKING OFFENDED and Walmart  employees are NOT ALLOWED to call the day after Thanksgiving sales, “Black Friday” anymore.
True story folks.
“Black Friday” is now called, “The holiday event.”
Ya’ know what?
I’m not even kidding.
If I hear one more ridiculous, mother f*cking “I’m offended,” this will be my head.
What is wrong with people?
I hope 2017 is the year that NOBODY GETS OFFENDED.
I know, I know…
divider-fall-leavesIt’s Thursday folks. Also known as ‘Thirsty Thursday.’
Time for me to pour myself a HUGE glass of wine and settle into my new Netflix addiction, ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ I started it from the veerrrrry beginning. I forgot what a great show it is.

The weekend is fast approaching. Who has plans?
Shout ’em out. You know I want to hear!
divider-fall-leavesMimi’s funny for the day –
divider-fall-leaves
feather

life

DEJA – NO!

Magical Mystical Mimi24 Comments

Just when I thought we had left the month of all things scary behind us, I read a terrifying article.
Apparently, “skinny jeans” are out.
That’s not the scary part.
This is.
“Mom jeans” are in. Ugh.divider-fall-leavesFor those of you who don’t know. These are “skinny jeans.” I may have rocked these back in the day with a pair of stilettos, a cut-off t-shirt n’ super cool Joan Jett hair but who knows. It was a long time ago.
In any event, they’re out and “mom jeans” are in.
These are “mom jeans.”
Once upon a time you were the social outcast and wouldn’t be caught dead in “mom jeans.”
What could be more flattering than a pair of high, elastic waisted jeans with a long ass zipper and a crotch that goes right up your hoo hoo?

Or maybe it’s the backside with those big ‘ol pockets on your big ‘ol elastic waisted mom ass. And let’s not forget those tapered legs that had every woman who wore them looking like a walking pear.
Yeah. Let’s bring those back.

Apparently, Khloe Kartrashian is. Of course, she is.
Reason number 6,798,328 that I can’t stand those morons.

I’m guessing that her idiot sister Kim Kartrashian begged her to design something, anything to fit over her own, so fucking big it needs it’s own zip code, big ‘ol silicone ass.
So Khloe thought. Hey, “mom jeans.” Haven’t seen those in a while.
Here’s her version.
What is with these people and their ass implants??
You know if they didn’t have celebrity status they’d just be some hood rat chicks with fat asses roamin’ the streets.

Here’s another pair of Khloe’s designer “mom jeans” worn by her other idiot sister, Kourtney.
If you’d like to purchase these or any of the jeans from the Kartrashian “mom jeans” line, you’ll find them here for $205.00 plus tax.
Yeah. NO!

If Khloe’s “mom jeans” are a lit’l too steep for your “mom jeans” budget.
Here’s another pair of “mom jeans” by ASOS.
They’re only $62.00.
Seriously. Are there any women out there, moms or not, that are actually buying this shit??
These aren’t “mom jeans” these are homeless bum been walking the streets for 30 yrs., jeans!
What the hell is wrong with people?

Here’s a perfect idea of what they should do with ALL of the “mom jeans.”

And just in case you guys out there think you’re exempt from the whole jeans thing.
Nope. You’re not. There are “dad jeans.”
They’re not bringing these back because according to my amazing people watching skills in the mall at Christmas, they never left and every dad already has a pair.
divider-fall-leavesHappy Wednesday folks! We’re half way to the weekend.
You can do it!
divider-fall-leavesMimi’s quote for the day –
forgottendivider-fall-leaves
feather

life

TOUGH TITTY TUESDAY – SERIOUSLY?

Magical Mystical Mimi29 Comments

TOUGH TITTY TUESAYHappy November folks!
This “Tough Titty Tuesday” is brought to you by…
divider-fall-leavesSeriously. I think people just go out of their way to look for shit to be offended by.
Apparently, actress Hillary Duff and her boyfriend – whoever he is – offended “the masses” with their Halloween costumes.
Are YOU ready to be offended??
“Many thought the costumes were racially insensitive.”
Are you fucking kidding me right now???
Racially insensitive?
This is by far my most unbelievable “Tough Titty” to date!

You can read all about Hillary’s “offensive” costume choices here.
Of course being in the land of “Hollyweird” and all things liberal and politically correct, Hillary and her boyfriend did something I would never have fucking done.
They apologized.
Hillary Duff said, “I’m SO sorry… It wasn’t properly thought through.”
Properly thought through? It’s an Indian and a pilgrim!

THIS is offensive people! Be fucking offended by THIS!!
divider-fall-leavesI’m Italian.
Here’s a dog dressed as spaghetti and meatballs.
dog-spaghettiNOT OFFENDED

Here’s a guy dressed like a piece of pizza.
pizza-costumeNOT OFFENDED

Here’s a whole family dressed like pizza!
pizza-costume-familyStill… NOT OFFENDED

My mom is German, French, Irish AND Indian (Pocahontas)
costumes-tough-titty-tuesdayNOT OFFENDED, NOT OFFENDED, NOT OFFENDED, NOT FUCKING OFFENDED!
divider-fall-leavesNo surprise this week’s “Tough Titty” shout out goes to all of the dumbasses sitting around waiting to be offended by something.
divider-fall-leavesIt’s been a lit’l quiet in my corner of the world.
Busy but quiet.
Today was day 1 of a new schedule for me. In bed at 9pm and up at 4am.
Quite a change for a night owl who often times didn’t go to bed until 4am. This new schedule is supposed to increase productivity and I have to say, it has done that. At least for today…

We had zero trick or treaters last night. But I was ready!
What’s been happening with all of you??
Did you do anything spooktacular for Halloween??
How many trick or treaters did you have?
The kids seem to be fewer and fewer with each passing year.
I don’t get it. If I could still trick or treat, I would!

Happy November 1st my friends.
Take a look around. There is much to be offended about thankful for.
divider-fall-leavesMimi’s quote for the day –
thankful-heartdivider-fall-leavesfeather