RANDOM THINGS I’VE LEARNED –
***My dog MUST sniff every square inch of grass and run back n’ forth across it about a gazillion times – not an exaggeration – before she finds “her” spot to pee.
***No matter how many times a person bumps into you or slams their cart into your cart while you’re shopping or walks directly between you and a friend having a conversation, that rude ass idiot will NEVER say those two magical little words… EXCUSE ME!
And people wonder why I turn into Wayne fucking Gretzky when I’m out shopping. Because people are idiots.
***We have the nicest mailman on the planet
who knows he could be a serial killer. He always brings our packages to the door along with any other mail we have instead of putting one of those “go pick your shit up yourself at the main post office inconveniently located downtown with lines a mile long” pink note cards.
***People – two young girls – will knock on your door, apologize for dropping by unannounced and for not knowing you just to ask you if you speak a foreign language and/or do you know anyone who does? No church pamphlets, no end of the world chats and most disappointingly, NO GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!
***Not everybody has cabbage with their corned beef on St. Patrick’s Day. Shocker, some people don’t even celebrate St. Patrick’s Day! No corned beef, no cabbage, no green beer, no wearing green. Why? Because those people can eat whatever the hell they want on any day that they want and the same goes for their beer drinking and ya’ know what else? Those people don’t give a shit if you pinch them for not wearing green because chances are they’ll punch you in the face no matter what color you’re wearing.
Those people may or may not be Italians.
I may or may not be Italian. Busy day today and a beautiful day at that. I hope your week has started out on the “right foot” or the left one I guess. Whichever is your “best foot forward” I suppose. Can you tell I’m tired? Just rambling on and on. Seriously my eyes feel like lead, maybe, I really don’t know what lead feels like. What I do know is that I am one tired mofo and I really need to “hit the hay!” Before one more dorky cliche comes flying out of my mouth.
Good night. Good morning. Happy Tuesday!
MIMI’S QUOTE OF THE DAY –