2020 MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Criss Cross Applesauce

 “Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
“Your local serial killer hunting ground.”

Side note: These first two “missed connections” took me by surprise because it’s rare that a real-life crossover connection is posted.

Looking for someone to help crossdress me, and go out and experience the fun
***Don’t really have an answer. Good luck I guess.

To the young girl that works there you need to leave married men alone!!
***Wow. Not sure why this confrontation didn’t happen face to face but damn. Way to air that dirty laundry.
You were headed toward Kuna in your little green Lexus. You were parked behind me putting on lip gloss in the mirror – I was intrigued! Blonde hair and slender. Love to meet for a drink when this is all over. Look forward to hearing from you.
***Dear blonde hair and slender… DO NOT meet this jughead for a drink! He was intrigued EXCLAMATION POINT by a woman putting on lip gloss.
This guy has the IQ of an Idaho Sex Stone.
What’s an Idaho Sex Stone???
Okay, say it with me… Just a fucking rock!

older male wll give foot rub
That is so gross. I don’t like anyone touching my feet let alone some old horny coot sittin’ in the middle of bum fuck Idaho.
This post has Deliverance written all over it.
Here, old man here’s some feet you can rub…

And here’s some you can eat!

I’m not sure why this person is doing this with their toes but don’t they look like little penises?
Oh, c’mon. I can’t be the only one who thought that.

This foot…
I cannot believe I was denied this foot at birth.
It’s SO me.

❤ Aaaannnndddd… Here we are again, folks.
Happy Monday!

Everybody have a safe weekend???

I think most of us, our states, are opening up quite a bit.
Anybody get out n’ about to the beaches or parks?
Are you making hair appts. again?
How about hitting up the bars???
Or restaurants?

How are you getting your life back to normal?
Share with us in the comments below.
It’ll be interesting to see how we’re all experiencing this whole new world.

Keep safe. Keep well.
And if you can get tested. Please get tested.


2020 SELF ISOLATION – Things I’ve Learned

I now have a favorite pair of pajamas, a favorite nightgown, a favorite pair of slippers and a favorite sleep mask.

I can wear my hair up or down, straight or curly, spiked out or greased flat.
I can put on a wig, long or short.
I can dry shampoo, regular shampoo or shampoo not at all!

I can do my make-up like the Joker in Batman or like a really hot hooker with lashes for days, smokey eyes and luscious lips.

Unfortunately, I can also eat an entire pie, cake, a dozen donuts, two dozen cookies, a bag of Tostino pizza rolls, 3 boxes of hot pockets and every granola bar we have in the house PLUS all of the chocolate milk and ice cream!
Basically, anything sweet and/or filled with carbs. I’m there.

That being said, unless there are men out there – other than the ones who go for the Kartrashians and their big ‘ol construction-grade, silicone injected fat asses – who like a little more A LOT MORE cushion for the pushin’ it doesn’t look like my lashes for days, smokey-eyed, luscious lipped hooker gig will be a go.

Needless-to-say, my low carb lifestyle has gone out the window but not before I lost 15lbs. Now, I’m afraid to get on the scale… It’s so much safer on the couch. The couch doesn’t judge me or weigh me!

I hope that all of you are staying in – if you can – and staying healthy. I hope the coronavirus’ tentacles haven’t reached too far into your families, certainly not health-wise and hopefully not employment wise.

In the midst of all of this chaos I am finding much to be thankful for and I hope that you are too.

I’m thankful that my family and friends are healthy.
I’m thankful for all of the people who are out there working daily among this virus to take care of us in every way. Those people truly are the heroes.
And I am so very thankful for my faith and the gift of being able to believe without seeing.