MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Twitch

It’s time again for “Missed Connection Monday.”
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.

SIDE NOTE:
Any and all typos, grammar issues, and/or misspellings came straight from the keyboards of these seekers of romance or impending death.
LADIES AT OLIVE GARDEN SATURDAY NIGHT (Boise)
You were a brunette with a couple other ladies at your table. You were in a black top and blue shorts and wedge heels. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. I winked at you as you left and you looked at me. In the parking lot I winked again and you smiled as I rode away. Love it if you were able to contact me…
***Seriously, twitchy? You’re never gonna’ see this chick again. She probably thought you were on the verge of some kind of seizure! It’s 2018. You wanna’ wink at women and think they’ll swoon I suggest you get back in your time machine and take a trip back to the 50’s where that might have got you laid but I doubt it.

WE MET AT THE ARCADE (Meridian)
You was in booth next to me on Tuesday around noon. It was a great time. You were very big. I should of got you contact info. I know you enjoyed it to.
***Not a clue about this one. “You were very big.” What the hell? Were they doin’ the nasty at an arcade filled with kids?? FREAKS.

SPECTRUM HOTEL VISITOR.. WAS THAT YOU? (Boise)
Thought I saw you getting into the elevator at the hotel. Staying there this week and would like to get the guys together…. let me know…
***Potential money maker. Getting “the guys together” sounds like a group rate to me!
Happy Monday! Stay cool!
And remember…
MIMI’S QUOTE FOR THE DAY –

#16 – IT’S TUESDAY NOT MONDAY JACKASS!

We live in an apartment so our washer n’ dryer is a “stackable.” Stackables are not full-size machines but they’re better than hauling all your crap to a laundry mat.
– In my opinion.. –
This is our stackable.
Typically we keep the laundry soap, bleach and dryer sheets on top of the dryer which, just FYI, on 364 days of the year poses no problem.
Welcome to today.
Because the stackable is so small I like to get as much water into the washer as possible so for large and medium loads I always turn the knob to the large setting.
The “large” setting = more water for washing = cleaner clothes.
Small loads are always set at small loads because if you set the knob to large and you only throw in a couple of pairs of jeans, some socks, and a t-shirt, the stackable will, in fact, have a seizure.
Not even kidding.

Today the washing machine went off kilter while spinning out a large load. A true large load, plenty of clothes and water, with the knob set at large.
– It does this sometimes. The whole off-kilter thing. –
What it doesn’t do is start throwing shit at me!

Seriously. I heard the machine start to go a little wonky. The easy fix is to lift the lid and rearrange the clothes and send it back on its spinning way.
Not today.
NOT today…

Today I open up the door to the stackable to rearrange the clothes and a FULL bottle of 64 load liquid laundry detergent flew at my head. I ducked and splat! Onto the floor, it went. Needless-to-say, lots of laundry soap and a million pieces of the plastic cap eeevvveeerywhere! And of course, I was on my way to an appt.!

My son was kind enough to clean up the mess for me and shared his own story of a “laundry attack” that happened to him, only for him it was the bleach! It hit the floor, bounced, the cap flew off and bleach went shooting all over the front of his jeans! I am beyond thankful that it didn’t get in his eyes! And so is he!
Ya’ know, I’m thinkin’ laundry shouldn’t be quite this freakin’ dangerous…
Um, yeah. I’m gonna’ go with today being that day….
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!!! LOOK!
Our maintenance guy decided to give us a new shower…
IN OUR DINING ROOM!
Ugh.
Seriously?
Hey, gods of the weekdays. It’s Tuesday NOT Monday you jackass!

Well, as you can see. This will be my Tuesday. Sitting around the apartment waiting on maintenance men who never shut the door behind them despite me telling them over n’ over that we have a dog…
I might feel a lit’l bit better if our maintenance guy wasn’t such a gomer. He says he’s going to get up there and “dry things out” and we’ll be able to use our light tonight.
Really gomer?? Not on your fucking life.
I just hope he doesn’t fix it like this…
On the plus side. Our upstairs neighbors with the cement block feet moved out.
So yay, right???
Happy Tuesday folks. I hope yours is going waaaay better than mine!
Mimi’s quote for the day –