2020 MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Isn’t that what dating apps are for???

 “Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
“Your local serial killer hunting ground.”


❤ ISO active female friend with positive personality
Hi, I’m looking for an active/positive female friend to go fishing, play pool, go for walks, bicycle rides, long talks with, and etc. in the blah, blah, blah area.
Please provide any questions you may have in your reply.
***Dear ISO, 
I have a question??? Isn’t this moment of humiliating loser online begging what dating apps are for???
You’re never gonna’ meet this “female friend” you’re begging for because guess what?
She’s out fishing with that hot guy she met at the lake and they’re out playing pool and going for walks and bike rides and they’re having long talks about how they can do all of these things naked and/or whilst fucking. 
PS – I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.
And by talk we mean eat which explains the next pic.
If only we were back in the Rubenesque era of life.
All fat women would be goddesses in the arms of super hot guys.

I may or may not have had one or more of the following dating situations…

Um… Just to set the record straight. Ryan Gosling does, in fact, know I exist and I’ve got the personal protection order to prove it.

Seriously tho…
Not so much anymore but ya’ know… The 80’s…


❤ Happy, Happy Monday everybody!!!
First, to all of the moms out there and I mean every single mom. If your kids have fur or don’t have fur. If you’re a bonus mom or if you find yourself mothering every kid on the planet without suffering one single stretch mark or two saggy breastfeeding boobs. I’m talking to you!
I hope you all had a great day and hopefully, you were able to roam free this past weekend.

Second, in my corner of the world, we had 87 degrees yesterday which is crazy to me because my family back east had snow.
I stayed in and did phone calls and face timed with my kids and grandkids which is always the highlight of my day no matter what the day.
THEN… I lounged the day away like a Queen AND shopped online with all of the gift cards the kids gave me!
It was my second most favorite part of the day. I also did some sewing, had a great dinner that included chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for dessert and pretty much just chilled the rest of the night.
It really was a great day.

I didn’t roam free because where am I going to roam?
Are your states opening back up?? Ours really isn’t so much and when it finally does it’s going to be so different…
I think social distancing and wearing masks is going to be around for a while.


❤ Okay, what was your weekend like??
Anybody get that freak snow back east??
Any backyard barbeques happening?
Did you go visit anyone?
I know they say stay home but sometimes ya’ gotta’ go see family even if you stand outside a window and wave.

Share with me down in the comments and as always, stay safe however you choose to do that and take care of you and your loved ones.

PS – If you follow the Rubenesque link it will take you to a really funny post by one of our fellow bloggers, UP at Redneck Latte Ravings.
Seriously. I laughed all the way thru. You should give it a read.


MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY – 
I probably did tell him that but I am soooooo not worried about it.

2020 MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – It Ain’t Easy Being Cheesy

 

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist and this week by fellow blogger Joe over at ‘Cranky Old Man because he said he missed these ‘Missed Connection’ posts.
So, thank you, Joe, for the encouragement! Enjoy!

These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
“Your local serial killer hunting ground.”


❤ CHEETOS
You was such a beautiful dark skin short angel you had on a sexy dress and a mask. Hopefully you see this and we can talk more and go shopping I will get the items on the top shelf for you. If this is you reply with the color of dress you was wearing!
***Okay, Mr. Cheetos…
First, THIS! Second, THIS!
And NO this does not qualify as social distancing…


❤ FIXED SOMETHING AT YOUR HOUSE
Was at your place this afternoon replacing something defective. U owe me a beer. Let me know what I was doing and my name. Would love to have a beer and maybe more?
***If she’s smart she’ll be replacing something else defective… YOU!
“Let me know what I was doing and my name.”
Hhhhmmmm. What you were doing…


Oh, and your name??? That’s easy.


HAPPY MONDAY!!!
How’s everybody doing?
What fun things did you do this weekend?
Is everybody in lockdown mode or were you able to get out n’ about?

We had a rainy weekend so I was in at the sewing machine.

I shared with you in my last post that since sheltering in place I’ve been doing a lot of online purchasing. My go-to shopping fix is Amazon but lately, Etsy and eBay have been thrown into the mix as well and it has been so fucking frustrating!

I always make it a point to check the USA box on all sites. I want all of my shops here so I’m not waiting a bazillion years for my shit. Well, as I learned, some of these shops are just out n’ out shysters! – Hey, there’s a word nobody uses anymore. – But seriously. They’re shady as hell. I waited almost a month for elastic and interfacing even tho both sellers on Etsy and eBay stated their shops were located in the U.S.
The shops are located in some other country. The warehouses they ship to are in the U.S. I know because when I was tracking all this crap it was sitting in warehouses in Seattle, WA. and Los Angeles, CA for almost a whole fucking month. I was so fed up I told the seller I wanted a refund which surprisingly was done the next day, in fact, the very day everything arrived! Ugh. After that, I now send all sellers messages. I want to know if the product is at your home or out in your garage. Can you physically touch it? If the answer is yes I place the order and I don’t care if it’s more expensive. I’ll pay extra just to get my shit in time.
Can you tell how fucking irritated I am?

Next up, Amazon. To be fair, Amazon has never let me down… Until… I purchased the biggest piece of shit vacuum I’ve ever seen! Not even kidding! Every bit of it was cheap plastic! The suction was great thru a 3″ inch slit!!! No roller on the bottom, no belts, just a plastic vacuum head with a 3″ inch slit. – Omg. Sounds like some people I know! – What’s really stupid is that I checked the reviews before I bought the piece of shit and it had thousands of 4/5 stars and really great written reviews. Totally makes me wonder what the hell people are vacuuming with this thing?? On the plus side, it came early. Also on the plus side. It’s going back.

Have you guys ever had any online buying horror stories?
I really miss just being able to go into a store and pick up what I actually need locally.


❤ As you all know I love to craft. I’ve been doing a lot of sewing but I was totally ready for a change so I started embroidery by hand and I totally suck at it but I’m not giving up.
Holy hell. The many, many, many things that are wrong with those leaves… That one that’s half done on the left? Every tip of every leaf is supposed to have a french knot.
Yeah… Well, obviously that didn’t happen but I’m not done, and no matter what I’m not giving up. I refuse to allow a little hand embroidery to kick my ass.
My goal is to have one embroidery done a month. I started last month and managed this…
I’m following some YouTube tutorials.
I’ve also got a cross-stitch project going but I won’t be sharing that until it’s complete.


Okay well, it’s been another blog post the length of ‘War and Peace’ and I’m certain I’ve bored you all to near death but I’m here and I’m blogging and I’m just really trying to get back into and stay in the blogging groove.

It’s the beginning of the week so you know I want to know what you have planned.
Lemme’ know in the comments below.
Take care of yourselves. Be safe and be well.


MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY ON TUESDAY – Because I can…

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it – ‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.
LOOKING TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH A MECHANIC
Hey. I wanna be with a mechanic. I think it’s super hot. Please send a photo of yourself and I will return the favor. Let’s talk.
Any sort of man in uniform works. Not just a mechanic.
***Hhhhmmm.
Here’s a few guys in uniforms…
I WAS YOUR UBER DRIVER
Your a female passenger and I’m a male driver who gave you a ride the other night not sure if you where hitting on me or not. If you where sorry I missed the signs tell me the color of my car so I know it’s you.
***Okay. FYI, nobody is hitting on an Uber driver. Also.
NOBODY is hitting on an Uber driver.
Here’s your “sign…”
LADY RUNNER
You, 40ish runner who runs near (…) HS: Every time I see you out running, I feel like I should stop you and talk, but as a runner myself, I know you wouldn’t appreciate that. I hope you see this and respond, Maybe we can go on a few runs together. I also like to bike…maybe you do too.
***Dear Lady Runner, KEEP RUNNING!
Hi everybody! As you can see I started this post on Monday and for whatever reason – life – I didn’t finish but here I am today with a blended Monday and Tuesday post.
I hope everyone is doing well.

I recently learned – again –
(sounds like your post Redneck Latte Ravings about history repeating itself…)

Back on point… I recently learned again that my dog cannot have people food.
Not anymore. Not at her age.
The same could be said of me.
I’m bummed. She’s bummed and I’ve got bedding in the wash. Ugh.

Thankfully it’s not a big mess. It was tummy not tail and she is currently sleeping on clean, comfy bedding and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop with possibly more bedding to wash…

So. This will basically be my day today, all eyes on my pup because I’m a nervous Nell when anything isn’t right in her world. I’ll get some crafting in I’m sure. It’s a lovely rainy day and there is always something to be done indoors.
Fall has arrived and I am loving it.
How has your week started out? What about your weekend?
Anything exciting to report? 🙂

On a side note. So sorry to read about Cokie Roberts dying. I really enjoyed watching her on the news.
Also. Cancer sucks.
Cokie Roberts and Eddie Money both gone because of it and now Alex Trebek’s is back.
I’m not sure what the people are doing that are supposed to be working on a cure but they need to hurry their asses up. Forget about making money and think about saving lives.
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Be well.
MiMi

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – I’m pretty sure he just called you fat…

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist.
These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.
Thick tattooed lady (Caldwell blvd mcDonalds)

***Okay, right outta’ the gate. “Thick tattooed lady” whoever you are.
Along with stalking you on Craigslist he just called you fat.
My advice? Run, walk or roll as far away from this guy and McDonalds apparently as fast as you can!***

You were at McDonalds today when i complimented your ink .Unsure if you heard me but i said i had a chucky tattoo as well but u had your hands full with your kids (they called you mommy so i assume they were your kids) i cant stop thinking about how beautiful you are.

You walked with so much confidence i could tell you are successful in life. You carry yourself very well and very precise i would love to get to no u. and take you out. if you see this reply with the names you have tattooed on your face an. the color of bandana shoes taht you were wearing. I hope you see this

***Hhhhmmm. I wonder what about this thick fat ass tattooed woman screeeaaammmed success.
Let’s see… Was it…

A – The fact that she was eating at McDonalds
B – The way she carried herself with such confidence and precision
OR
CCCCCCCCCCCC – The tattoos ON HER FACE and the BANDANA SHOES  that she was wearing????***

What the actual fuck????? Seriously????
THIS, thissssss is your measuring stick for success???

There’s an old saying, “There’s a lid for every pot.”
With the Craigslist “Missed Connection” section there should be a straight jacket for every nut job.

ALSO – The typos in the Craigslist “I’m stalking you” post are aaallll on them.
Hey, hey, hey!!! It’s Monday!! A brand new week with brand new opportunities and adventures waiting! Or maybe it’s just fucking Monday…
I know, I know. Ya’ can’t make ice cream outta’ horse shit.

Anything thrilling and spine chilling planned for the week ahead??

For me, it’s all about this fabulous weather so aside from the normal rigga ma row
– drs appts, errands n’ such –
I will be outside as much as possible warming these old bones and enjoying the beautiful sunshine!

I hope you have a great beginning to a great week ahead!
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Time – 7:51am
Temp – 63 degrees F/ High 84 – SUNSHINE!!!
Mood – Great!
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Nada
Best thing – Waking up in a great mood!
Be well.
MiMi

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – TED BUNDY’S LOVECHILD

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
LADIES IN JEEP WRANGLER IN HULLS GULCH
To the two ladies who graciously gave my dog and I a lift back to my truck on Friday, thank you!

Turns out, I broke my ankle on the trail so not having to walk that last ~mile out was greatly appreciated. Thank you again!

If you happen to know two ladies who gave someone a ride in the area on Friday morning, please pass along my thanks!
Rob
***Yeah… Ted Bundy has a similar story…Turns out he broke his arm…
      (The Deliberate Stranger:  The Story of                  Serial Killer Ted Bundy – YouTube)

If you happen to know these two ladies DO NOT pass along Ted Jr’s “thanks!”
Are you fucking kidding me right now???
THIS is Hulls Gulch!
                             (Photo credit, Me!)
I’m not picking up a quarter if I drop it let alone some guy I don’t know with a dog that may or may not be his or that may or may not be trained to rip my leg off!
People are so fucking stupid…

Happy Monday folks!
I’m a little late to the game today. Lots going on. I do have to say, it was fantastic seeing Halloween decorations up in every store I went into today. Seriously. It’s been so hot here ANYTHING that brings thoughts of cooler weather is okay by me!
Tomorrow is another early day for me, in fact, this whole week is going to be early days for me. We don’t have a definitive date for my sister’s surgery so I’m trying to get my schedule in sync and reschedule what I can plus get all of my personal appts., dr. appts., etc. out of the way. I am not looking forward to an MRI. Any of those kinds of tests always freak me out, plus I flatlined in one of them before so yeah, no fun for me at all…

I hope that all of you have had a wonderful start to your week. Don’t work too hard if that’s your gig and if you’re playing, don’t overdo it. That heat is killer out there and apparently, it’s the same all over the globe!

Be well and be safe.
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Twitch

It’s time again for “Missed Connection Monday.”
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.

SIDE NOTE:
Any and all typos, grammar issues, and/or misspellings came straight from the keyboards of these seekers of romance or impending death.
LADIES AT OLIVE GARDEN SATURDAY NIGHT (Boise)
You were a brunette with a couple other ladies at your table. You were in a black top and blue shorts and wedge heels. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. I winked at you as you left and you looked at me. In the parking lot I winked again and you smiled as I rode away. Love it if you were able to contact me…
***Seriously, twitchy? You’re never gonna’ see this chick again. She probably thought you were on the verge of some kind of seizure! It’s 2018. You wanna’ wink at women and think they’ll swoon I suggest you get back in your time machine and take a trip back to the 50’s where that might have got you laid but I doubt it.

WE MET AT THE ARCADE (Meridian)
You was in booth next to me on Tuesday around noon. It was a great time. You were very big. I should of got you contact info. I know you enjoyed it to.
***Not a clue about this one. “You were very big.” What the hell? Were they doin’ the nasty at an arcade filled with kids?? FREAKS.

SPECTRUM HOTEL VISITOR.. WAS THAT YOU? (Boise)
Thought I saw you getting into the elevator at the hotel. Staying there this week and would like to get the guys together…. let me know…
***Potential money maker. Getting “the guys together” sounds like a group rate to me!
Happy Monday! Stay cool!
And remember…
MIMI’S QUOTE FOR THE DAY –

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Princess Obvious Strikes Again!

It’s time again for “Missed Connection Monday.”
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.

SIDE NOTE:
Any and all typos, grammar issues, and/or misspellings came straight from the keyboards of these seekers of romance or impending death.
GUY WITH A BEARD IN A FORD TRUCK (Fairview & Winco)
I was driving a grey Toyota Corrola on Fairview near Winco on 4/11. Blonde hair clipped back, window down, and wearing a dark colored blouse. We were both checking each other out. You were behind me and then pulled up next to me. Once you got to Winco you turned into the parking lot and waved bye. I regret turning around. If you recall the encounter contact me.
***Dear Princess Obvious, are you new?? You just described every fucking guy in Idaho! This connection is never going to happen and not just because of that oh, so detailed description you gave of your hopeful love connection but also because Winco is NOT a crossroad at Fairview. Winco is a grocery store, dumb ass.
CHEVRON ON HAPPY VALLEY, EMPLOYEE WITH TATOOS
When I see you, I imagine what would happen if I knew how to ask you out, or even just flirt a little, but I don’t. When i see that your working I feel a brief moment of joy, followed by panic; and as I leave I feel disappointed in myself.

I wish I wasn’t afraid, not of the possible (probable?) rejection, or even the embarrassment and humiliation that would follow; I am afraid of success. I don’t want to hurt you, the way I seem to hurt the people I care about the most. I never intend for it to happen but it always does.

When someone first gets to know me, they are either pulled in by curiosity, or repelled by something else; maybe its the aspergers, or co-morbidity with any number of countless diagnoses. Either way, it’s rare and strange for me to feel feelings, but for some reason, I feel them for you.

***You’re afraid of success??? Are you fucking kidding me?? You’re “afraid” that this tattooed employee is actually going to go out with you???
Fear no more my friend. Shuffle that into the “SHIT THAT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME” category of life.

“Countless diagnoses, co-morbidity, no feelings…” You’re a fucking psychopath. That would be what repels people! And the only people being “pulled in” are the ones you’ve bound and gagged in the trunk of your car.
To the tattoed employee. Find another job. In another state…
Trying to get back into the blogging groove. The medical hurry up and wait game is more than a little frustrating. Waiting for tests to be scheduled and phone calls to be made. Hopefully, we’ll get some things done this week.

Hey, how ’bout good ‘ol Mother Nature??? Not entirely sure who pissed her off but I’m happy that I’m not in the middle of it. We had some unseasonable snow but we’re done with that now – maybe. Yesterday we had temps in the 70’s and the forecast is for 50’s, 60’s and rain all week. I’ll take but ya’ know the way the weather is all across the board, north, south, east and west. I’m open for anything!
What’s been happening with all of you? Did anybody do anything fun this weekend? I vegged. Totally binged on ‘Dr. Foster’ on Netflix. Another great show. Makes me wonder if the same people who made ‘The Killing’ made this show. I started watching ‘Wallander’ and I also started another crochet project. Totally new to me and hopefully I’ll be done with it within the next couple of days so I can post pics.

Let me know what’s happening in your little pod of existence because as always, I’m a nosey bitch.
MIMI’S QUOTE FOR THE DAY –

#9 – MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – DRUMMERS AND SNOWBUNNIES

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
2017-divider-line-blue-icyPINK SNOWBOARD PANTS AT BOGUS – m4w – age 33
Hi there! This was last Wednesday and you were with your dad I think. I thought you were very pretty and wanted to chat you up… but you were with your dad… mildly awkward. Anyways… you might have had a concussion and i wanted to see if you were on enough to go to dinner. Here’s hoping!!
***Okay, I’m not entirely sure how desperate a person needs to be but “you might have had a concussion” followed up by “I wanted to see if you were on ENOUGH to go to dinner.”

Really?? Sorry about your head injury but hey, how ’bout dinner anyway.

I suggest “Pink Snowboard Pants” zip down that mountain and never look back. If this guy is willing to take you with a concussion. I’m pretty sure he’d take you unconscious.
They make creepy crime shows about this guy. Just sayin’.
2017-divider-line-blue-icyRETARDED DRUMMER – m4w
Now that your fucking my best friend and apparently have been for some time, I can safely say you won’t be hearing from me again. You are exactly what I thought you were.
a sack whore.
***Not entirely sure how this is a “missed connection” but it certainly seems personal.

I wonder who the retarded drummer is.

Eh well. Looks like all of you are better off without each other or one or the other or..
Just stop leaving these notes. She won’t see them.
She’s too busy bangin’ your best friend.
2017-divider-line-blue-icyShort post due to technical difficulties.
– Printer, blue tooth, blah, blah, blah. –
I hope you’re all well. I’m hoping to get to your posts tonight.
I’m hoping I can get this glitch fixed!

Just sloppy weather today. Nothing major like they were saying unless their idea of major and mine are different. It rained, melted a bunch of snow, everything was sloshy, tonight it will freeze, tomorrow snow, then sun, then rain – REPEAT!

Be well folks!
Here’s to a week of wonderful weather ahead for all of us!
2017-divider-line-blue-icyMimi’s Craiglist dating tip of the day.
Find this guy. At least he’s honest.
dating-its-not-you-its-me2017-divider-line-blue-icyfeather

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – PILLOWS, HITCHING & BURGER KING

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
bar dotsOVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
bar dotsYOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
bar dotsBURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
#getalife
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather

 

 


“MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY” – This is why I don’t date

No need to look in the “Craigslist’s serial killer hunting ground” for today’s “missed connection” because this “missed connection” actually involved me!
And this is why I don’t date.
I went to ‘Home Depot’ to get some wooden dowels for my windows/sliding glass door because we now have some questionable, non-English speaking men living upstairs who have not undergone a background check per “move in regulations.”
I mentioned this in yesterday’s post.
As with most moments in my life, I’m in a hurry. I walk into ‘Home Depot’ with my list and measurements in hand. I stop and ask a cashier where the dowels are and tell her I’ll need someone to cut them for me. She says, “Oh, we have a saw station at the end of the aisle.”
I say, “Oh, well, I’ll need someone to do that for me. I’m in a bit of a hurry.”
She says she’ll send someone over to help me. Perfect.
Off I go.

– Keep in mind, I’m in a hurry.
I told the cashier I was IN A HURRY. –
I’m in the aisle. I spot my “helper.” I immediately start rattling off what I need and my helper just stands there looking at me. I talk fast so I’m thinking, a.) He didn’t understand me or b.) He was too far away to hear what I said. I repeat myself. Again he stands there looking at me. And just when I’m about to be a smart ass and say, “Hello, McFly” my helper starts moving his hands and motioning to his ears and mouth.
MY HELPER IS A DEAF MUTE!
Did I mention I was in a hurry?????
Fuck! – I show my list to him pointing to the length and the width I need, he, in turn, points to the dowels and the “saw station” – FYI, the “saw station” is a hand saw and some rulers.
Are you fucking kidding me right now???
I grab my dowels and head to the front of the store nearly running into another worker.
Thus begins my very own personal “missed connection.”
ME – (Shoving the dowels into the other worker’s face.) “Can you hear and do you speak?”
MC/missed connection (He chuckles.) “Well, yes I can and yes I do. What can I help you with?”
ME – (Holding the dowels inches from his face) “I need these cut. I’m in a hurry. Can you cut these for me?”
MC – “I can do that. What sizes do you need?” (I hand him my list.)

At the saw station he asks me what I’m using the dowels for. I tell him and we end up discussing  the crime rate in Boise and he tells me he’s a retired L.A. Detective.
He then proceeds to give me a million and one safety tips and questions the measurements for my dowels.
MC – “You know you want to make sure you get these long enough so that a person couldn’t stick his arm through the window and dislodge the dowel.”
ME – (Pointing at myself from head to toe.) “Detroit girl. I got it. And trust me, long before they got their arm through my window they’d be a dead man.”
He smiles. It’s a nice smile. He’s a handsome guy.
So, handsome MC with the nice smile finishes cutting the dowels and hands them to me and then, BOOM.
MC – “May I ask for you phone number?”
ME – (Taking note of his manners.) “You may ask but the answer is no.”
He stares at me. He has crystal blue eyes.
MC – “Why not?”
ME – “Well, Mr. Bold, did you miss the part about me being the Detroit girl?”
MC – (Smiling.) “Did you miss the part about me being the retired Detective from L.A.?”
ME – “Prove it. Where are your credentials?”
He stares at me again.
MC – “Where are yours?” (He smiles)
ME – “Seriously? Have you met anyone here in Idaho as mouthy as me, with an attitude like mine and a voice that sounds like “The Nanny,” who asked to see your credentials AND wouldn’t give you their phone number?” (He laughs out loud this time. He has a nice laugh too…)
MC – “Well, if you change your mind I’m here every day.” (Another smile.)
ME – (Dripping with sarcasm.) “Perfect. I’ll be back tomorrow.” And off I go to pay for my shit.
I go to the same cashier who sent my flippin’ “helper.” She says, “How did everything work out for you?” I said, “It didn’t. I tell you I’m in a hurry and you send me some guy that can’t hear and doesn’t speak.” She says, “Oh, that’s Carl. He reads lips.” I said, “Well apparently not these lips because he did nothing for me.” Then I hear laughing, that laugh. My very own personal “missed connection” laugh. I look up and my MC is standing up at the customer service desk listening to my every word, pointing at himself mouthing the words, “every day, I’m here, every day.”
I smiled at him, walked out the door and haven’t been back since.
And that, folks is my very own personal “Missed Connection Monday” post.
Here’s to a great week ahead filled with great smiles, beautiful eyes, and amazing laughter.

Missed Connection Monday – Walmart “Soul Mate” Edition

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
BEAUTIFUL BLONDE GIRL SUBWAY (WALMART) – m4w
I just moved here from Arkansas.
Me and my sis went to walmart to buy some things like always.
***And that’s all we need to know about this guy.
“I just moved here from Arkansas. Me and my sis went to walmart…”
– Can we just leave it at that and just assume this guy is an inbred jed cuz fucker? –
CUTEST GIRL AT WALMART (AUNTIEANNE’S) – m4w
I guess I was so damn ready but just didn’t know. I told you I had a dream about pretzels last night, and you told me I was lucky hah. I didn’t leave any feedback but you being a fantastic lady would you mind working with my dough-head for a night of adventure? MISSED CONNECTION – I WONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE FOR YOU TWO TIMES :}}
Met a friend outside so maybe it was right were I was needing to be.
***I’m not entirely sure what a “dough-head’s” idea of “a night of adventure” is but I’m pretty sure it involves duct tape and chloroform – oh, and pretzels!
WALMART PHARM TECH – m4w
I was picking up my prescription today at the Walmart on Overland by Roaring springs. When I dropped off my script o gave it to a very attractive Pharmacy tech named Ariel. I wanted to tell you how attractive you are. But didn’t want to make it weird or awkward in front of your coworkers. Anyway if this somehow makes it way to you. I would love to talk and get to know you better.
***Because this won’t be weird or awkward, right?WOMAN AT EAGLE WALMART – m4w
I didn’t get your name or info , when I got out my car you said nice shirt and at the time I didn’t think about it but I want to say more but didn’t. If you some how find this let me know what I was driving and the shirt I was wearing 🙂
***REALLY???? This is the stalker trigger?! -“Nice shirt.”
You didn’t get her name or info because it was a fucking compliment you moron, not an invite to a party.And they lived happily-ever-after…Happy Monday everybody. Here’s to a phenomenal week ahead!
If anybody needs me I’ll be out on the patio reading or at my sewing machine.
One thing’s for certain. I won’t be at Walmart!
Be well.