walmart – Page 2 – Magical Mystical Mimi

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
BEAUTIFUL BLONDE GIRL SUBWAY (WALMART) – m4w
I just moved here from Arkansas.
Me and my sis went to walmart to buy some things like always.
***And that’s all we need to know about this guy.
“I just moved here from Arkansas. Me and my sis went to walmart…”
– Can we just leave it at that and just assume this guy is an inbred jed cuz fucker? –
CUTEST GIRL AT WALMART (AUNTIEANNE’S) – m4w
I guess I was so damn ready but just didn’t know. I told you I had a dream about pretzels last night, and you told me I was lucky hah. I didn’t leave any feedback but you being a fantastic lady would you mind working with my dough-head for a night of adventure? MISSED CONNECTION – I WONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE FOR YOU TWO TIMES :}}
Met a friend outside so maybe it was right were I was needing to be.
***I’m not entirely sure what a “dough-head’s” idea of “a night of adventure” is but I’m pretty sure it involves duct tape and chloroform – oh, and pretzels!
WALMART PHARM TECH – m4w
I was picking up my prescription today at the Walmart on Overland by Roaring springs. When I dropped off my script o gave it to a very attractive Pharmacy tech named Ariel. I wanted to tell you how attractive you are. But didn’t want to make it weird or awkward in front of your coworkers. Anyway if this somehow makes it way to you. I would love to talk and get to know you better.
***Because this won’t be weird or awkward, right?WOMAN AT EAGLE WALMART – m4w
I didn’t get your name or info , when I got out my car you said nice shirt and at the time I didn’t think about it but I want to say more but didn’t. If you some how find this let me know what I was driving and the shirt I was wearing :)
***REALLY???? This is the stalker trigger?! -“Nice shirt.”
You didn’t get her name or info because it was a fucking compliment you moron, not an invite to a party.And they lived happily-ever-after…Happy Monday everybody. Here’s to a phenomenal week ahead!
If anybody needs me I’ll be out on the patio reading or at my sewing machine.
One thing’s for certain. I won’t be at Walmart!
Be well.

To my faithful readers, I know this will come as no surprise to you, but two words top my least favorite store to Christmas shop at or do any other kind of shopping at.

Fucking Walmart!

The products don’t bother me. They sell pretty much the same crap as every other store. Sometimes they’re the cheaper option. Sometimes they’re not. They price match but so do a lot of other stores. My biggest issue with Walmart is, in fact, the people of Walmart. From the so-called managers, who I personally wouldn’t let manage a room full of stuffed animals, let alone an entire store! To the cashiers, to the stockers, to the actual shoppers themselves.

Ya’ ever notice when you walk into Walmart the only person doing their job, and doing it well, are the Walmart door greeters? And most of them are special needs people! There’s your insight to the rest of the employees that half-assed work there. It has been my experience that 99.9% of all Walmart employees are disgruntled, lazy and I’m guessing barely made it out of elementary school. – Just a guess. – Aside from the door greeters, the only employees you see even attempting to give off the appearance of working are the THREE cashiers at the THREE lines that are open! They’re still disgruntled and their level of intelligence is questionable, but they’re there!
All THREE of ’em!
Yet another reason I don’t shop there.

It’s the universal Walmart complaint. 500 check out lanes and those dumb ass managers will NEVER open more than three fucking lines! Why??? Clearly they have the help – such as it is – because you’ll find these fine employees in clusters scattered all around the store bitching and complaining about their personal shit. Or worse, you’ll get to witness as I have in the past, one toothless minimum wage worker flirting with some other toothless minimum wage worker hidden behind a Christmas tree! NOT.EVEN.KIDDING! I’m surprised I still have my sight!
It was frightening!

Another Walmart complaint. Why aren’t all of the Walmarts laid out the same??? Aside from the pharmacy and outdoor section, nothing is ever in the same place from store to store. Sometimes the light bulbs are in automotive, sometimes they’re in the grocery. Ya’ know where they never are??? In the lighting department! C’mon Walmart, get it together. You’ve got a million stores all over. Helen Keller should be able to walk in and find a fucking lightbulb!

The Walmart shoppers themselves? Especially the laaaate night early morning shoppers??? I don’t even have enough time. Just Google “people of Walmart.”

My #1 tip for shopping at Walmart? If you must ask one of those blue vested brainless wonders for help and their name tag has every letter of the alphabet in it JUST.MOVE.ON. they don’t speak English and you’d have better luck asking Stevie Wonder where the fucking lightbulbs are!