That’s right folks. We need more butthurt.
Why? Because we don’t have enough people being offended in this country.
Remember my post from yesterday about the celebrity couple dressing up for Halloween as a pilgrim and an Indian and everybody being offended?
If not, you can read it here.
Well, because I didn’t want to travel down all of the roads under construction to get to my regular stores, today, I had to go into that store we all love to hate, Walmart.
You can read how much I
loathe love Walmart, here.
All was well. I found everything I needed. I actually got into a checkout lane where my cashier spoke English AND another employee who also spoke English helped bag my groceries!
What the hell? I had to check the signs around the store.
Was I really in Walmart?? I was feelin’ a happy dance coming on and then, boom.
Yep. I was in the right store alright.
Apparently. SOMEBODY GOT FUCKING OFFENDED and Walmart employees are NOT ALLOWED to call the day after Thanksgiving sales, “Black Friday” anymore.
True story folks.
“Black Friday” is now called, “The holiday event.”
Ya’ know what?
I’m not even kidding.
If I hear one more ridiculous, mother f*cking “I’m offended,” this will be my head.
What is wrong with people?
I hope 2017 is the year that NOBODY GETS OFFENDED.
I know, I know…
It’s Thursday folks. Also known as ‘Thirsty Thursday.’
Time for me to pour myself a HUGE glass of wine and settle into my new Netflix addiction, ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ I started it from the veerrrrry beginning. I forgot what a great show it is.
The weekend is fast approaching. Who has plans?
Shout ’em out. You know I want to hear!
Mimi’s funny for the day –
“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
OVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher. And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
EAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
YOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
BURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
No “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.
The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!
What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??Mimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…