WHAT DO WE NEED???

That’s right folks. We need more butthurt.
Why? Because we don’t have enough people being offended in this country.
Remember my post from yesterday about the celebrity couple dressing up for Halloween as a pilgrim and an Indian and everybody being offended?
If not, you can read it here.

Well,  because I didn’t want to travel down all of the roads under construction to get to my regular stores, today, I had to go into that store we all love to hate, Walmart.
You can read how much I loathe love Walmart, here.

All was well. I found everything I needed. I actually got into a checkout lane where my cashier spoke English AND another employee who also spoke English helped bag my groceries!
What the hell? I had to check the signs around the store.
Was I really in Walmart?? I was feelin’ a happy dance coming on and then, boom.
Yep. I was in the right store alright.
Fucking Walmart…

Apparently. SOMEBODY GOT FUCKING OFFENDED and Walmart  employees are NOT ALLOWED to call the day after Thanksgiving sales, “Black Friday” anymore.
True story folks.
“Black Friday” is now called, “The holiday event.”
Ya’ know what?
I’m not even kidding.
If I hear one more ridiculous, mother f*cking “I’m offended,” this will be my head.
What is wrong with people?
I hope 2017 is the year that NOBODY GETS OFFENDED.
I know, I know…
divider-fall-leavesIt’s Thursday folks. Also known as ‘Thirsty Thursday.’
Time for me to pour myself a HUGE glass of wine and settle into my new Netflix addiction, ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ I started it from the veerrrrry beginning. I forgot what a great show it is.

The weekend is fast approaching. Who has plans?
Shout ’em out. You know I want to hear!
divider-fall-leavesMimi’s funny for the day –
divider-fall-leaves
feather

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – PILLOWS, HITCHING & BURGER KING

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
bar dotsOVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
bar dotsYOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
bar dotsBURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
#getalife
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather

 

 


Missed Connection Monday – Walmart “Soul Mate” Edition

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
BEAUTIFUL BLONDE GIRL SUBWAY (WALMART) – m4w
I just moved here from Arkansas.
Me and my sis went to walmart to buy some things like always.
***And that’s all we need to know about this guy.
“I just moved here from Arkansas. Me and my sis went to walmart…”
– Can we just leave it at that and just assume this guy is an inbred jed cuz fucker? –
CUTEST GIRL AT WALMART (AUNTIEANNE’S) – m4w
I guess I was so damn ready but just didn’t know. I told you I had a dream about pretzels last night, and you told me I was lucky hah. I didn’t leave any feedback but you being a fantastic lady would you mind working with my dough-head for a night of adventure? MISSED CONNECTION – I WONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE FOR YOU TWO TIMES :}}
Met a friend outside so maybe it was right were I was needing to be.
***I’m not entirely sure what a “dough-head’s” idea of “a night of adventure” is but I’m pretty sure it involves duct tape and chloroform – oh, and pretzels!
WALMART PHARM TECH – m4w
I was picking up my prescription today at the Walmart on Overland by Roaring springs. When I dropped off my script o gave it to a very attractive Pharmacy tech named Ariel. I wanted to tell you how attractive you are. But didn’t want to make it weird or awkward in front of your coworkers. Anyway if this somehow makes it way to you. I would love to talk and get to know you better.
***Because this won’t be weird or awkward, right?WOMAN AT EAGLE WALMART – m4w
I didn’t get your name or info , when I got out my car you said nice shirt and at the time I didn’t think about it but I want to say more but didn’t. If you some how find this let me know what I was driving and the shirt I was wearing 🙂
***REALLY???? This is the stalker trigger?! -“Nice shirt.”
You didn’t get her name or info because it was a fucking compliment you moron, not an invite to a party.And they lived happily-ever-after…Happy Monday everybody. Here’s to a phenomenal week ahead!
If anybody needs me I’ll be out on the patio reading or at my sewing machine.
One thing’s for certain. I won’t be at Walmart!
Be well.

THE STORE WE LOVE TO HATE

To my faithful readers, I know this will come as no surprise to you, but two words top my least favorite store to Christmas shop at or do any other kind of shopping at.

Fucking Walmart!

The products don’t bother me. They sell pretty much the same crap as every other store. Sometimes they’re the cheaper option. Sometimes they’re not. They price match but so do a lot of other stores. My biggest issue with Walmart is, in fact, the people of Walmart. From the so-called managers, who I personally wouldn’t let manage a room full of stuffed animals, let alone an entire store! To the cashiers, to the stockers, to the actual shoppers themselves.

Ya’ ever notice when you walk into Walmart the only person doing their job, and doing it well, are the Walmart door greeters? And most of them are special needs people! There’s your insight to the rest of the employees that half-assed work there. It has been my experience that 99.9% of all Walmart employees are disgruntled, lazy and I’m guessing barely made it out of elementary school. – Just a guess. –  Aside from the door greeters, the only employees you see even attempting to give off the appearance of working are the THREE cashiers at the THREE lines that are open!  They’re still disgruntled and their level of intelligence is questionable, but they’re there!
All THREE of ’em!
Yet another reason I don’t shop there.

It’s the universal Walmart complaint. 500 check out lanes and those dumb ass managers will NEVER open more than three fucking lines! Why??? Clearly they have the help – such as it is – because you’ll find these fine employees in clusters scattered all around the store bitching and complaining about their personal shit. Or worse, you’ll get to witness as I have in the past, one toothless minimum wage worker flirting with some other toothless minimum wage worker  hidden behind a Christmas tree! NOT.EVEN.KIDDING! I’m surprised I still have my sight!
It was frightening!

Another Walmart complaint. Why aren’t all of the Walmarts laid out the same??? Aside from the pharmacy and outdoor section, nothing is ever in the same place from store to store. Sometimes the light bulbs are in automotive, sometimes they’re in the grocery. Ya’ know where they never are??? In the lighting department! C’mon Walmart, get it together. You’ve got a million stores all over. Helen Keller should be able to walk in and find a fucking lightbulb!

The Walmart shoppers themselves? Especially the laaaate night early morning shoppers??? I don’t even have enough time. Just Google “people of Walmart.”

My #1 tip for shopping at Walmart?  If you must ask one of those blue vested brainless wonders for help and their name tag has every letter of the alphabet in it JUST.MOVE.ON. they don’t speak English and you’d have better luck asking Stevie Wonder where the fucking lightbulbs are!

 

My favorite store? Kohl’s. It’s always clean. They have great stuff and you get that Kohl’s cash!

And then there’s this…

What about YOU? Where do you like to shop and what store would you rather slice your eyelids off than walk into?