I BLAME KINDERGARTEN

This is a repost from 2016. Why?
Because in the words of Danny Zuko in Grease…
I’ve not had a really bad cold or flu this season and I don’t want to start now. This repost says it all and I’m taking some Zicam and heading to bed.
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I’ve been sick. It’s contagious. You can read about the inconsiderate asshole I caught it from here. And ya’ know, the more I’ve thought about it the more I’m convinced that we learned this inconsiderate behavior in kindergarten. Seriously.
I blame kindergarten.
leaves barSharing is a big deal in kindergarten. There was a whole list of things to share in kindergarten.
***Share your crayons.
***Share your paste. – I’m old. –
***Share your paints.
***Share the swings, the teeter totter, the jump rope. Your bat, your ball, your mitt.
***Share EVERYTHING!

Yeah. Thanks, kindergarten.
You should’ve had a list of things you DON’T share.

Here, let me help ya’ out with this one.
Top of the list????
***Don’t share your fucking germs!!!!
***Don’t share your cold.
***Don’t share your flu.
***Don’t share your diarrhea.
***Don’t share your ringworm.
***Don’t share your pinkeye.
***Don’t share your fucking lice!!!

I’m pretty sure parents everywhere would appreciate my list.
What they won’t appreciate?? Missing work to clean up shit and vomit from every member in their household including themselves!
leaves barFortunately, I think I’m on the tail end of this “bug.” It’s moved to my ears and I’ve still got one stuffed nostril and one runny nostril. I’m thinking about shoving a tampon up the runny nostril except what happens if I pull it out and then that nostril is all stretched to hell and doesn’t go back because I’m fucking old and your skin doesn’t bounce back like it used to in your 20’s/30’s??? Then I’m stuck with one big ‘ol, floppy Kevin Bacon, cannon sized nostril!
Not even kidding. Kevin Bacon has the biggest fucking nostrils ever.
See?? GIANT nostrils!
leaves barHere’s how you can do your part and not be an inconsiderate asshole during cold and flu/snotty “bug” season.
If you can, stay home and get yourself/child better.
Cover when you cough/sneeze.
Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.
Make sure your kids cover when they cough/sneeze and that they wash their hands too!
It’s soooooo important.
Kids pass this shit around like it’s a joint at Woodstock! Everybody gets a hit whether you want one or not!

Schools and daycares are one giant petri dish of all things contagious.
I’m not saying spray your kid down with Lysol but ya’ know…. You spray them with ‘Off’ in the summer time..
It’s a thought..
leaves barMimi’s quote for the day –
I’m pretty sure Johnny was in the grocery cart the other day blowing snot bubbles. leaves barfeather

AND THE GARBAGE GLOBE GOES TO…

Pretty much anyone who picked up one of these worthless paperweights.
 This was me half watching the Garbage Golden Globe Awards.
And I really mean only half watching. Most of the time I was up and down doing other things or I was on my phone. I shoulda’ stayed on my phone.

Here’s my top 5 list of celebrity morons that I will never watch in anything ever again.
1.) Meryl Streep
2.) Reese Witherspoon
3.) Barbara Streisand
4.) Seth Rogan (whiner)
5.) Nicole Kidman

These people are the reason parents still ask their kids, “Well, if Meryl jumped off a bridge does that mean you’d jump off a bridge too?” Apparently for the majority of Hollyweird that would be a resounding yes.
#Idiots
I’m not going to critique everyone’s dresses/suits/outfits tonight because we’ve all seen people dressed in black heading to a funeral. Bedazzle that shit and that’s what everyone was wearing.

I would like to point out this woman and I don’t know who she is or what show she’s in but did she not know she was going to an awards ceremony tonight?
Holy fuck. She looks like they just pulled her straight from the nursing home still wearing her nightgown! I do more with my hair and make-up heading to the grocery store!

Ugh. Needless-to-say, if this was the prelude to the Oscars I most definitely won’t be watching those, not even half watching. I don’t often watch the awards shows anyway but obviously every now and again I need a reminder as to why I don’t watch.
Shallow, truly stupid celebrities.
Yep. That’s pretty much it.
I had a super busy morning/afternoon and I’ll share that fun stuff with all of you tomorrow. I’ve been up and running since 5:30 am and I need to close my eyes for a few hours.

I hope all of you had a great Sunday. And I really hope none of you wasted one precious moment of your lives even glancing at those Garbage Globes.

Mimi’s quote for the day –
(Page 7)