Month: January 2018

I BLAME KINDERGARTEN

This is a repost from 2016. Why?
Because in the words of Danny Zuko in Grease…
I’ve not had a really bad cold or flu this season and I don’t want to start now. This repost says it all and I’m taking some Zicam and heading to bed.
**************************

I’ve been sick. It’s contagious. You can read about the inconsiderate asshole I caught it from here. And ya’ know, the more I’ve thought about it the more I’m convinced that we learned this inconsiderate behavior in kindergarten. Seriously.
I blame kindergarten.
leaves barSharing is a big deal in kindergarten. There was a whole list of things to share in kindergarten.
***Share your crayons.
***Share your paste. – I’m old. –
***Share your paints.
***Share the swings, the teeter totter, the jump rope. Your bat, your ball, your mitt.
***Share EVERYTHING!

Yeah. Thanks, kindergarten.
You should’ve had a list of things you DON’T share.

Here, let me help ya’ out with this one.
Top of the list????
***Don’t share your fucking germs!!!!
***Don’t share your cold.
***Don’t share your flu.
***Don’t share your diarrhea.
***Don’t share your ringworm.
***Don’t share your pinkeye.
***Don’t share your fucking lice!!!

I’m pretty sure parents everywhere would appreciate my list.
What they won’t appreciate?? Missing work to clean up shit and vomit from every member in their household including themselves!
leaves barFortunately, I think I’m on the tail end of this “bug.” It’s moved to my ears and I’ve still got one stuffed nostril and one runny nostril. I’m thinking about shoving a tampon up the runny nostril except what happens if I pull it out and then that nostril is all stretched to hell and doesn’t go back because I’m fucking old and your skin doesn’t bounce back like it used to in your 20’s/30’s??? Then I’m stuck with one big ‘ol, floppy Kevin Bacon, cannon sized nostril!
Not even kidding. Kevin Bacon has the biggest fucking nostrils ever.
See?? GIANT nostrils!
leaves barHere’s how you can do your part and not be an inconsiderate asshole during cold and flu/snotty “bug” season.
If you can, stay home and get yourself/child better.
Cover when you cough/sneeze.
Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.
Make sure your kids cover when they cough/sneeze and that they wash their hands too!
It’s soooooo important.
Kids pass this shit around like it’s a joint at Woodstock! Everybody gets a hit whether you want one or not!

Schools and daycares are one giant petri dish of all things contagious.
I’m not saying spray your kid down with Lysol but ya’ know…. You spray them with ‘Off’ in the summer time..
It’s a thought..
leaves barMimi’s quote for the day –
I’m pretty sure Johnny was in the grocery cart the other day blowing snot bubbles. leaves barfeather

AND THE GARBAGE GLOBE GOES TO…

Pretty much anyone who picked up one of these worthless paperweights.
 This was me half watching the Garbage Golden Globe Awards.
And I really mean only half watching. Most of the time I was up and down doing other things or I was on my phone. I shoulda’ stayed on my phone.

Here’s my top 5 list of celebrity morons that I will never watch in anything ever again.
1.) Meryl Streep
2.) Reese Witherspoon
3.) Barbara Streisand
4.) Seth Rogan (whiner)
5.) Nicole Kidman

These people are the reason parents still ask their kids, “Well, if Meryl jumped off a bridge does that mean you’d jump off a bridge too?” Apparently for the majority of Hollyweird that would be a resounding yes.
#Idiots
I’m not going to critique everyone’s dresses/suits/outfits tonight because we’ve all seen people dressed in black heading to a funeral. Bedazzle that shit and that’s what everyone was wearing.

I would like to point out this woman and I don’t know who she is or what show she’s in but did she not know she was going to an awards ceremony tonight?
Holy fuck. She looks like they just pulled her straight from the nursing home still wearing her nightgown! I do more with my hair and make-up heading to the grocery store!

Ugh. Needless-to-say, if this was the prelude to the Oscars I most definitely won’t be watching those, not even half watching. I don’t often watch the awards shows anyway but obviously every now and again I need a reminder as to why I don’t watch.
Shallow, truly stupid celebrities.
Yep. That’s pretty much it.
I had a super busy morning/afternoon and I’ll share that fun stuff with all of you tomorrow. I’ve been up and running since 5:30 am and I need to close my eyes for a few hours.

I hope all of you had a great Sunday. And I really hope none of you wasted one precious moment of your lives even glancing at those Garbage Globes.

Mimi’s quote for the day –
(Page 7)

NEW YEAR, NEW…

BLOG LAYOUT!
Ohhh but I am Sgt. Benson.
No surprise to my wonderful readers and fellow bloggers. You know I like to change things up from time to time and I’m diggin’ this layout – for the moment.
I made a tab up top of my page specifically for my 365 Days Of Granny Squares. If you’re interested, take a looksie. I know that crafting isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. I’ll probably be making more tabs for other things as well, again, just for the curious eye.
It’s been a slow Saturday out this way. The snow is melting, the temps will be near 40 this week. Plenty of sunshine and all is right with the world. At least this corner of the world.

Spent the day cleaning, cleaning, cleaning and tomorrow I’ll be at the mall in search of the perfect tee shirt for my perfect daughter so I can use my Cricut and heat press to put some cute sayings on said tee shirts IF I can find what I’m looking for.
I’ll post a pic when it’s done, which hopefully will be tomorrow.

Lots of projects in the making. I’ll post ’em here or make a tab. Maybe both.

Really nothing earth-shattering happening today. Oh. A little town about a half hour away (Nampa, Idaho) was trending on Facebook today. Apparently finding two dead men in an apartment is trendy. Who knew?
I’d post a link but there’s no news to report. Two dead Mexican guys, that’s it, that’s all. No leads. No answers.
They probably knew each other and it was probably over drugs. If I had to guess…

Tomorrow night the Golden Globes will be on. Anybody watching? I heard that all of the women/men who have been sexually assaulted, offended, the #metoo movement will all be wearing black. Not entirely sure how that’s going to help anything but whatever..
I have my own thoughts on that whole #metoo movement but that’s for another post.

I’m super tired and my eyelids are slamming shut.

Happy Weekend!

Mimi’s quote for the day –

(Page 6)

JERRY SPRINGER IN DA HOOD

I don’t know about America on the whole but I can definitely vouch for my neighbors. Remember when I told you about our new neighbors?
You can find one post here and another one here.
Well, we’ve got another neighbor. Not new. She and her flavor of the month live behind us in a totally separate complex and seriously if anyone ends up shooting up the neighborhood it’ll be those two. With a 3-month-old baby in the house…
We live in an apartment on a lower level. We have a small patio, with a small backyard and invisible boundary lines from one next door neighbor to the next. We have a fence in the back that separates our apartment complex from the one on the other side of the block.
The fence looks like this. Chain link with white privacy slats. Our fence isn’t as new but the slats are all intact. You get the idea.
I would’ve gone out and taken a picture of our actual fence but it’s late and the flash from my phone would’ve really freaked out the psycho then.
Apparently when we go out on our back patio the psycho behind us thinks we’re staring at her and trying to look in her house. Please see photo above.
What the hell can we see and more to the point how can she possibly see us to know that we’re staring at her and/or trying to look into her house???
She’s a freak.
She yelled at my kid – once. – And every night she and that flavor of the month that got drunk one night and drug her across the swamp argue at the top of their lungs. Every night. Into the wee hours of the morning. They even chase each other around the complex!

Other neighbors on our side have told them to shut the hell up. Everybody has called the cops on them and the cops do show up but as soon as they leave the two lovebirds go at it like two junkyard dogs. I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time for our law enforcement than having to deal with those idiots every night.

I wonder how much trouble a person would get into for tossing a strip of firecrackers over the fence while they’re in the middle of one of their nightly Jerry Springer-a-thons….
Asking for a friend.
But wait! There’s more! Our new neighbors two doors down in the next building? They’ve gone at it like junkyard dogs but so far they don’t appear to be repeat offenders.
My son and I were standing outside under our carport and this chick comes staggering up the sidewalk asking us to call 911 while her boyfriend is coming up behind her…
She tells him to get away, he does, he says he’ll call 911. I had my son call just to make sure because this girl was a bloody mess. Prince Charming punched her in the face and busted her nose and knocked some teeth loose! The cops came. The paramedics checked her out.

She was kissin’ on him the next day..
The other night my son and I were coming in from the store and we heard somebody scream in another building and just as I felt my “S” puffing up on my chest, my son was like, “no mom, just keep walking.”

Mr. Rogers made it seem so easy.. “Won’t you be my neighbor..”

Mimi’s quote for the day –
(Page 4)

***Oddly enough, spent a good portion of the day shopping looking for those 75% off Christmas sales. I’ll be back at it again tomorrow. Biscuits n’ gravy for dinner to keep the chill away. It worked.

***IN THE CRAFT CORNER:
One of my crochet groups is having this challenge,
“A Granny A Day Crochet-Along.”
We’re following Yarnutopia on YouTube and their
365 Days of Granny Squares tutorials.
This is my square #4.  (I’m using my scrap yarn.)
Sorry for all of the ugly granny squares but I am seriously using up scrap yarn. I tied it all together, rolled it into a ball and this is how it’s coming off. Once it’s gone I’ll be making normal granny squares.

Swashbucklin’ Grandpa

Facebook is like a maze. You start out one place and then 200 clicks later you find yourself on Errol Flynn’s grandson’s page.
I know. Errol who?  I’m old.

Errol Flynn was an actor and my first Hollywood crush.
This is what he looked like when I crushed on him.
He was probably a jerk in real life and from what I’ve read, he would’ve definitely been on the #metoo list of guys getting nabbed for sexually harassing women/men.
Whatever. I didn’t know him. I just crushed on him.

And much like fine wine, he got better (looking) as he got older…

Fast forward however many years it takes for him to become a swashbucklin’ grandpa of this fine creature.
Yessssss. The gene pool continues on!

Now, don’t ask me how all of my clicks on Facebook led to this hottie’s page but I thought it was a pretty cool find.
His name is Luke Flynn and aside from looking hot, I have no idea what he’s all about. Let’s hope he doesn’t wind up on the #metoo list.
I’ve gotta’ tell ya’ folks I’ve got no complaints out my way and I am keeping all of you east/northeast coasters in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like another winter blast for all of you. I’m praying super hard no one loses their power and has plenty of gas to keep their vehicles warm and running.

If you’re like me and fortunate enough not to be in those winter storms with all of the cold and ice they bring, please join me in sending good vibes to those bundling up and hunkering down.

Mimi’s quote for the day – (Page 3)

***Seriously slept thru the day, afternoon and early evening. Drinking hot green tea, taking Ibuprofen, snuggling under the covers and hoping I am not getting sick.

***IN THE CRAFT CORNER:
One of my crochet groups is having this challenge,
“A Granny A Day Crochet-Along.”
We’re following Yarnutopia on YouTube and their
365 Days of Granny Squares tutorials.
This is my square #3.  (I’m using my scrap yarn.)
#YARNutopia #385DaysOfGrannySquares

A RETRO A GO-GO

I know, I know. Every year I whine about not living like the Jetsons and yet another year has passed and hello??!! Not even a whisper of the Jetson’s lifestyle!

Seriously, my lit’l nerdy tech nuggets get it together and get off the “new and improved” video games, tablets, and smartphones. We have enough of those!
It’s the year 2018 for cripes sake!
What we don’t have enough of is THE JETSONS!
– Jetson’s rant over. –
**Spot the retro, very hip phrase.
Day 2 of the New Year and my friend sends me this –
This is going to be so weird. And, even weirder?
My birthday is April 1st. So, me and the Lamb of God sharing a day. Let that sink in for a minute..
You guys probably don’t want to stand too close to me on that day. A bolt of lightning might come flying down, meant for me, not any of you of course.
Oh, hey, did any of you catch this little announcement?
Hoda – who I love – has taken creepy Matt Lauer’s place as co-anchor on the Today Show.
Fantastic. Love her.
Now get rid of Savannah. I think she’s as fake as any one of those Kardashian lips, tits or ass and that’s pretty damn fake!
If I ran the network. I would do the fair and just thing.
I would fire Savannah – the Matt Lauer lover that I don’t like.
And hire….
That’s right. Ann Curry! She deserves her job back. Douche bag baldy Lauer didn’t like her – probably because she wouldn’t let him cop a feel or drool all over him – so he had her fired. She should be hired back. Her and Hoda would make a great team.
Okay. We’re into day two of the new year, any earth-shattering news to share in your corner of this crazy world?
Anybody make any resolutions? – I don’t make ’em.
Anybody have those nasty burnt tasting black-eyed peas for luck on New Year’s Day?
Who’s stuck in the deep freeze that’s all over the news EVERY day!?
Omgosh, I am so happy that we’re having a “normal” winter here. Enough snow to have a white Christmas and normal winter temps. In fact, the snow is melting now.
The mid-west and all points north and east. Geesh. I’m not sure when you guys are going to thaw! I hope you’re all keeping as warm as you can and I pray you all have heat. I’ve been reading about so many people not having heat and I hope that list doesn’t include any of you!

Wow. Late post. Not sure how the day got away but here it is almost 11pm. Be well my friends and sleep tight!
Sweet dreams ~

Mimi’s quote for the day –
(Page 2)

***Organized, tossed n’ cleaned. Christmas is still up. Took a late night trip to the mall. Listening to my pup snoring. 

***IN THE CRAFT CORNER:
One of my crochet groups is having this challenge,
“A Granny A Day Crochet-Along.”
We’re following Yarnutopia on YouTube and their
365 Days of Granny Squares tutorials.
This is my square #2.  (I’m using my scrap yarn.)
#YARNutopia #385DaysOfGrannySquares

365

Happy New Year everyone!
May the blessings of heaven rain down on all of you!
Sending prayers for much love, good health, joy, peace, happiness, and lots of laughter. Lots n’ lots of laughter…

Mimi’s quote for the day –
(Page 1)

***Spent time with family. Ate some great food, enjoyed a cocktail (or three) relaxed, watched the “ball” drop, vegged out on Netflix today and enjoyed life. Thankful and blessed.

***IN THE CRAFT CORNER:
One of my crochet groups is having this challenge,
“A Granny A Day Crochet-Along.”
We’re following Yarnutopia on YouTube and their
365 Days of Granny Squares tutorials.
This is my square #1.  (I’m using my scrap yarn.)
#YARNutopia #385DaysOfGrannySquares