THANKFUL THURSDAY – ALL AT ONCE

In 2 days we will usher in autumn. It hardly seems possible because I know I was just sweating away ten pounds a day with all of the flippin’ heat we’ve had!
And still, it did nothing for my fat ass.
So, with a kiss and a smile or a kick in the pants and a shove down the stairs – most likely the latter. –
I wave goodbye to all things summer 2 days early and with that, I begin my “thankful” list.
#1 – I am thankful that I’ll be able to see again after all of the summer eye bleaching moments I experienced.

Okay, maybe not this exactly but pretty close.
#2 – I’m thankful that the cooler temps of fall will make other people’s deodorant appear as tho it’s actually working.
#3 – I’m thankful that everywhere I go now it will smell like pies and cookies baking!
I am soooo serious about this thankful list.
The number of people wandering around in dental floss when what they really needed was a circus tent was astounding!
It’s like they all got dressed in the dark!
disclaimer: I’m not “fat shaming” I’m just saying. Try putting on a bathing suit that fits.

And the stinky, sweaty, smelling people that seemed to always be in line right in front of me or right behind me??? Ugh. Seriously? Do you have nasal issues?? You can’t smell your own funk??
Sadly, there aren’t enough pumpkin spiced candles or pies to be baked that can get rid of the funk.
I just went over my thankful list and just in case you were wondering if it’s possible to be bitchy and thankful at the same time. It is.

I hope you have much to be thankful for today even if it’s bitchy thanks.
You know I always want to hear about it so drop your thankfuls in the comments below and have an amazing ‘Thankful Thursday!’
MIMI’S QUOTE FOR THE DAY – 
Participating in ‘Brian’s Thankful Thursday Blog Hop‘ hosted by Brian at ‘Brian’s Home.’ Click on the link to join in!

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – PILLOWS, HITCHING & BURGER KING

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
bar dotsOVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
bar dotsYOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
bar dotsBURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
#getalife
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather