Month: May 2020

2020 MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Criss Cross Applesauce

❤ “Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
“Your local serial killer hunting ground.”

Side note: These first two “missed connections” took me by surprise because it’s rare that a real-life crossover connection is posted.

<3 FEMININE
Looking for someone to help crossdress me, and go out and experience the fun
***Don’t really have an answer. Good luck I guess.

<3 ZAMZOWS
To the young girl that works there you need to leave married men alone!!
***Wow. Not sure why this confrontation didn’t happen face to face but damn. Way to air that dirty laundry.
<3 GREEN LEXUS
You were headed toward Kuna in your little green Lexus. You were parked behind me putting on lip gloss in the mirror – I was intrigued! Blonde hair and slender. Love to meet for a drink when this is all over. Look forward to hearing from you.
***Dear blonde hair and slender… DO NOT meet this jughead for a drink! He was intrigued EXCLAMATION POINT by a woman putting on lip gloss.
This guy has the IQ of an Idaho Sex Stone.
What’s an Idaho Sex Stone???
Okay, say it with me… Just a fucking rock!

<3 OLDER MALE WILL GIVE FOOT RUB
older male wll give foot rub
***Nooooooooooooooooooo.
That is so gross. I don’t like anyone touching my feet let alone some old horny coot sittin’ in the middle of bum fuck Idaho.
This post has Deliverance written all over it.
Here, old man here’s some feet you can rub…


And here’s some you can eat!

<3 I’m not sure why this person is doing this with their toes but don’t they look like little penises?
Oh, c’mon. I can’t be the only one who thought that.

<3 This foot…
I cannot believe I was denied this foot at birth.
It’s SO me.

<3 Aaaannnndddd… Here we are again, folks.
Happy Monday!

Everybody have a safe weekend???

I think most of us, our states, are opening up quite a bit.
Anybody get out n’ about to the beaches or parks?
Are you making hair appts. again?
How about hitting up the bars???
Or restaurants?

How are you getting your life back to normal?
Share with us in the comments below.
It’ll be interesting to see how we’re all experiencing this whole new world.

Keep safe. Keep well.
And if you can get tested. Please get tested.

MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –

2020 MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – Isn’t that what dating apps are for???

❤ “Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
“Your local serial killer hunting ground.”

<3 ISO active female friend with positive personality
Hi, I’m looking for an active/positive female friend to go fishing, play pool, go for walks, bicycle rides, long talks with, and etc. in the blah, blah, blah area.
Please provide any questions you may have in your reply.
***Dear ISO, 
I have a question??? Isn’t this moment of humiliating loser online begging what dating apps are for???
You’re never gonna’ meet this “female friend” you’re begging for because guess what?
She’s out fishing with that hot guy she met at the lake and they’re out playing pool and going for walks and bike rides and they’re having long talks about how they can do all of these things naked and/or whilst fucking. 
PS – I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.
And by talk we mean eat which explains the next pic.
If only we were back in the Rubenesque era of life.
All fat women would be goddesses in the arms of super hot guys.

I may or may not have had one or more of the following dating situations…

Um… Just to set the record straight. Ryan Gosling does, in fact, know I exist and I’ve got the personal protection order to prove it.

Seriously tho…
Not so much anymore but ya’ know… The 80’s…

<3 Happy, Happy Monday everybody!!!
First, to all of the moms out there and I mean every single mom. If your kids have fur or don’t have fur. If you’re a bonus mom or if you find yourself mothering every kid on the planet without suffering one single stretch mark or two saggy breastfeeding boobs. I’m talking to you!
I hope you all had a great day and hopefully, you were able to roam free this past weekend.

Second, in my corner of the world, we had 87 degrees yesterday which is crazy to me because my family back east had snow.
I stayed in and did phone calls and face timed with my kids and grandkids which is always the highlight of my day no matter what the day.
THEN… I lounged the day away like a Queen AND shopped online with all of the gift cards the kids gave me!
It was my second most favorite part of the day. I also did some sewing, had a great dinner that included chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for dessert and pretty much just chilled the rest of the night.
It really was a great day.

I didn’t roam free because where am I going to roam?
Are your states opening back up?? Ours really isn’t so much and when it finally does it’s going to be so different…
I think social distancing and wearing masks is going to be around for a while.

<3 Okay, what was your weekend like??
Anybody get that freak snow back east??
Any backyard barbeques happening?
Did you go visit anyone?
I know they say stay home but sometimes ya’ gotta’ go see family even if you stand outside a window and wave.

Share with me down in the comments and as always, stay safe however you choose to do that and take care of you and your loved ones.

PS – If you follow the Rubenesque link it will take you to a really funny post by one of our fellow bloggers, UP at Redneck Latte Ravings.
Seriously. I laughed all the way thru. You should give it a read.

MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY – 
I probably did tell him that but I am soooooo not worried about it.

2020 – CINCO DUH MAYO ON RYE PLEASE

I started this post yesterday and my day got away so it has now become a “twofer” post except Wordless Wednesday will not be very wordless.

<3 TUESDAY –
No reason for the title of this post other than I just wanted to change up the name because I know there are a million and one – I counted – posts titled Cinco De Mayo floating around the web today. And speaking of mayo. Do you guys remember the commercial jingle, “Bring out the Hellman’s and bring out the best?”
This commercial is from 1973.

***Falling under the “and now you know” and “useless information” categories of life…

Something I discovered while looking for the Hellman’s commercial is that Hellman’s Mayo is also Best Foods Mayo and they both have the same jingle. The proverbial killing of two birds with one stone. Marketing 1 product with 2 names with 1 jingle.
Very clever… I see what ya’ did there Best Foods.

This comment was below this commercial on YouTube. Fact or fiction I don’t know but it sounds legit.

Originally seen in 1966. “Hellmann’s” is sold as ‘Best Foods’, “west of the Rockies”, because the “Hellmann’s” trademark doesn’t extend across the entire United States. An alternate version, using the “Hellmann’s” jar, was also filmed.
Thanks Barry!

<3 Happy Cinco De Mayo! And for the first time since this quarantine, I’m super happy I won’t be in any grocery store coming across a big ‘ol fucking cow head in the meat section! So gross. As is cow tongue and chicken feet! Who is eating this shit and whhhhhyyyyyyy?

And speaking of gross shit. My mom used to buy beef brains and put them in my dad’s scrambled eggs. Also gross. Us kids tried them because when Sgt. Ray said, “just try it, it’s not poison.” We believed him. My dad was always bringing home stuff for us to “try.” Chocolate-covered insects, octopus, caviar.
All gross, gross, and disgustingly gross.

I’m also super happy I won’t be in any stores seeing pig head in the meat section either. Also gross.
I went to a pig roast one time and after the pig was roasted and everybody had had their fill someone cracked open the skull and people started scooping out the brains on crackers.
Miraculously, I didn’t vomit at least not at this party.
I remember trying it “just to be polite” but I was told I was drinking mass quantities of alcohol at that pig roast so I don’t really know if I liked it.
My days of being polite at pig roasts and basically everywhere else are over.

WORDY WEDNESDAY –
<3 I started my day with my grandson Aidan calling to thank me for the masks I made for him. That was really sweet and then he actually wants me to make more! Yay. They must’ve been a success. That makes me happy. That also makes me sitting at my sewing machine for most of the day and that’s okay by me!

My granddaughter, Aidan’s sister Kiernan, called me on Duo today and read me a Pinkalicious book which was really sweet of her!
The call from my grandson and having a book read to me by my granddaughter plus beautiful blue skies, sunshine, and doors and windows wide open to catch the breeze…
What more can a Mimi hope for?!

<3 This post got away from me too because you know, I was at the sewing machine! I hope you’re all well. I like to check in with all of you. I think it’s good that we check in with each other. I hope the next catastrophe that we face doesn’t take our computers down because then what??? Ugh. I don’t even want to think about it.

MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –

2020 MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – It Ain’t Easy Being Cheesy

 

❤ “Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist and this week by fellow blogger Joe over at ‘Cranky Old Man‘ because he said he missed these ‘Missed Connection’ posts.
So, thank you, Joe, for the encouragement! Enjoy!

These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
“Your local serial killer hunting ground.”

<3 CHEETOS
You was such a beautiful dark skin short angel you had on a sexy dress and a mask. Hopefully you see this and we can talk more and go shopping I will get the items on the top shelf for you. If this is you reply with the color of dress you was wearing!
***Okay, Mr. Cheetos…
First, THIS! Second, THIS!
And NO this does not qualify as social distancing…

<3 FIXED SOMETHING AT YOUR HOUSE
Was at your place this afternoon replacing something defective. U owe me a beer. Let me know what I was doing and my name. Would love to have a beer and maybe more?
***If she’s smart she’ll be replacing something else defective… YOU!
“Let me know what I was doing and my name.”
Hhhhmmmm. What you were doing…


Oh, and your name??? That’s easy.

<3 HAPPY MONDAY!!!
How’s everybody doing?
What fun things did you do this weekend?
Is everybody in lockdown mode or were you able to get out n’ about?

We had a rainy weekend so I was in at the sewing machine.

I shared with you in my last post that since sheltering in place I’ve been doing a lot of online purchasing. My go-to shopping fix is Amazon but lately, Etsy and eBay have been thrown into the mix as well and it has been so fucking frustrating!

I always make it a point to check the USA box on all sites. I want all of my shops here so I’m not waiting a bazillion years for my shit. Well, as I learned, some of these shops are just out n’ out shysters! – Hey, there’s a word nobody uses anymore. – But seriously. They’re shady as hell. I waited almost a month for elastic and interfacing even tho both sellers on Etsy and eBay stated their shops were located in the U.S.
The shops are located in some other country. The warehouses they ship to are in the U.S. I know because when I was tracking all this crap it was sitting in warehouses in Seattle, WA. and Los Angeles, CA for almost a whole fucking month. I was so fed up I told the seller I wanted a refund which surprisingly was done the next day, in fact, the very day everything arrived! Ugh. After that, I now send all sellers messages. I want to know if the product is at your home or out in your garage. Can you physically touch it? If the answer is yes I place the order and I don’t care if it’s more expensive. I’ll pay extra just to get my shit in time.
Can you tell how fucking irritated I am?

Next up, Amazon. To be fair, Amazon has never let me down… Until… I purchased the biggest piece of shit vacuum I’ve ever seen! Not even kidding! Every bit of it was cheap plastic! The suction was great thru a 3″ inch slit!!! No roller on the bottom, no belts, just a plastic vacuum head with a 3″ inch slit. – Omg. Sounds like some people I know! – What’s really stupid is that I checked the reviews before I bought the piece of shit and it had thousands of 4/5 stars and really great written reviews. Totally makes me wonder what the hell people are vacuuming with this thing?? On the plus side, it came early. Also on the plus side. It’s going back.

Have you guys ever had any online buying horror stories?
I really miss just being able to go into a store and pick up what I actually need locally.

<3 As you all know I love to craft. I’ve been doing a lot of sewing but I was totally ready for a change so I started embroidery by hand and I totally suck at it but I’m not giving up.
Holy hell. The many, many, many things that are wrong with those leaves… That one that’s half done on the left? Every tip of every leaf is supposed to have a french knot.
Yeah… Well, obviously that didn’t happen but I’m not done, and no matter what I’m not giving up. I refuse to allow a little hand embroidery to kick my ass.
My goal is to have one embroidery done a month. I started last month and managed this…
I’m following some YouTube tutorials.
I’ve also got a cross-stitch project going but I won’t be sharing that until it’s complete.

<3 Okay well, it’s been another blog post the length of ‘War and Peace’ and I’m certain I’ve bored you all to near death but I’m here and I’m blogging and I’m just really trying to get back into and stay in the blogging groove.

It’s the beginning of the week so you know I want to know what you have planned.
Lemme’ know in the comments below.
Take care of yourselves. Be safe and be well.

MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –

2020 ADJUSTING

<3 I suspect we’ve all been doing this during this peculiar moment in time.
Adjusting our focus, our work schedules, sleep/wake schedules…
OUR MASKS!
Feel free to insert anything you’ve been adjusting. For me, it seems to be everything!

<3 So. I’ve been away again and I have to say, I never know how long my “comeback” post should be. Should it be a hi there and hello or should I share what’s been happening over the last month?

I usually start out with a super long one and then I ditch it for something short n’ sweet. I sorta’ do the same thing in stores. I’ll load up my cart with a bunch of shit and the more I roam around the stores the more I realize I don’t need half of the shit in the cart so I’m that crazy person you’ve seen in the stores putting shit back on shelves and not necessarily where it goes.

<3 What’s been happening??? I feel like we’re living in the Twilight Zone!

<3 I’ve been trying to follow the White House bouncing ball but who can keep up with the ever-changing campaign speeches/temper tantrum/briefings coming forth from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I don’t think we need those briefings every day and if we do for God’s sake let someone else do the talking!

I wish Sgt. Joe Friday from Dragnet was one of the so-called “3rd rate reporters” at those “briefings.”
Seriously…

<3 I’ve been making masks. Here’s a pile of ’em already shipped out. I think this batch was 50+.
I imagine everyone with a sewing machine is making them. I know I’m making more because I don’t think this is going away anytime soon. So, if you or someone you know is in need hit me up.

<3 Today our state is doing a Phase 1 open, whatever the hell that is. I’m tired of listening to it all. Anymore these political briefings are much like the weather. Wait 5 minutes and all the rules will change. I hope everyone doesn’t run around like they’ve just made a prison break altho I suppose I couldn’t blame them. Being cooped up totally blows.

I don’t know about any of you but I’ve had one car ride out n’ about since quarantining became a way of life and I felt like I just landed on the planet. There have been buildings built and buildings torn down, all of the flowers and trees are in bloom. The gas prices have dropped below two dollars, all of the stores have caution tape and one-way signs. I feel like I’ve literally spent the entire spring season indoors and again, it totally blows.

<3 I haven’t been blogging because I just wasn’t feeling it. We’re all doing the same lockdown life. On the plus side, I haven’t tried to cut my own hair. On the not even close to positive side, I started watching The Real Housewives of New York. I know. What the hell, right? This is how I know my brain is turning to mush.

Fortunately, I didn’t even make it thru one show because I couldn’t deal with all that nitpicky, high school bullshit from grown-ass women. I don’t even know who those housewives are but they really need to back away from the plastic surgery. Holy hell… They look like skeletons with fruit roll-ups for flesh!

<3 How have all of you been? Everybody still healthy? We’re all holding up here but my cousin in Chicago has the virus and that’s very scary. Prayers and positive vibes for her would be much appreciated.

<3 So, I discovered this about myself via quarantine. Apparently, I’m addicted to Amazon now. Actually just online shopping in general. Granted, the things I’m ordering are things I need but still, it’s like an every week thing. I’d go to overspenders anonymous but I’m pretty sure they’re not an “essential” business,  like gyms and tattoo shops… Insert eye roll here.

<3 Today is my very best day of quarantine because it’s my son’s 29th birthday!! So a great big Happy Birthday to him!

Thank goodness he’s in Michigan. They’re not opening until the 15th so I don’t have to worry about a bar scene with a bunch of “maybe they’re infected maybe they’re not” non-mask wearing partiers.

Happy, Happy Birthday to my son who has taught me so much about acceptance, thinking outside the box, and most of all unconditional love.
College grad. 2019 with his beautiful sister.

<3 Wow. So apparently I opted for the long-ass blog post. Sorry ’bout that. I’ll be writing my post for tomorrow later this morning and I promise it won’t be that long.

<3 As always, I’ll be visiting all of you and catching up. Please stay safe. Keep your distance and as goofy as they look, wear a mask. I’ve got you all in my prayers. <3

MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –