I know I’m a day late but here it is… The “N” word.
– NO! Not that “N” word! –
Mine is much nicer and creepy…
“N” is for neighbor. As most of you know who read my twisted blog. I have an issue with neighbors. And by issue, I mean that if there happens to be a freaky, creepy, weirdo within a million mile radius, inevitably, at some point, they will end up being my neighbor.
On the whole, I like neighbors. I’ve had great neighbors. My favorite neighbors are the neighbors who turn into friends. Anymore those tend to be far and few in between.
I’ve never had a neighbor this cool but beer left on my doorstep would be a nice neighborly touch.
I think about this sometimes when I’m driving through a neighborhood at night and I see a lit’l glimpse inside a kitchen or living room with cute lit’l wall hangings or people sitting at the dining room table. For a nanosecond I imagine the most wonderful life for them, and of course, they get a drive by blessing that they might always have that cozy roof over their heads and those people to love.
And then I’m back to the jerk that just ran the stop sign.
I’ve only experienced this once in my life. Four brothers that lived across the street from us growing up. All of them good looking, two of them exceptionally so. Unfortunately, my dad held my dating reigns then so like a kid on the short bus about all I could do was stick my face to the window and lick it!
Side note: Eventually, I would receive my very first kiss ever from one of the exceptionally good looking ones.
I don’t necessarily believe this.
Unless the neighbors are like this…
Hhhhhmmm. I have a strange neighbor and I don’t want him invigorating anything that has to do with me. Thanks anyway Ralph.
On to the creepy neighbor because you knew there had to be one in this post.
It’s not the ones upstairs. They’re just loud and now they’re moving so hip, hip, hooray for that!
NO. Here is my creepy neighbor.
– Because apparently it is my lot in life to have at least one wherever I go! –
What makes this neighbor so creepy???
Is it that he walks around barefoot year round. Rain, sleet, snow, sun??
Nope. Just makes him a moron.
Is it that the outfit you see in the photo is the same outfit he wears day in, day out, year round??
Nope. Just makes him disgusting and I suspect, smelly.
You can’t see his face but his head is perfectly round with 3 clumps of greasy hair sticking out, coke bottle glasses and he’s still rockin’ the Don Johnson Miami Vice 5 o’clock shadow only scraggly.
What makes this neighbor creepy is HIS COLLECTION OF NAKED BARBIES that he keeps in one of a DOZEN OR MORE plastic totes filled with junk on his back patio!!!!!!!
I only know this because to take our pup to go poo we have to walk right past the creep neighbor’s place and there on the fire hazard that is his back patio is that tote FILLED TO THE BRIM with NAKED BARBIES!!!!!!!
I don’t know why. I don’t want to know why. Nor do I know what’s in the rest of the totes that adorn his patio but I guarantee you. One day we’ll see this NEIGHBOR on the 10 o’clock news!
Please.. Fingers, eyes and toes all crossed. – Pleeeassse.
Silence. The Lord has taught me silence. He knows like I know. I could end up in one of those flippin’ plastic totes!
Here is my week ahead wish for all of you.
But not too soon on that last one!
Now I’m heading around to visit, read n’ comment on lots of terrific blogs.
All of yours at the top of my list!
Happy Sunday folks and Happy A to Z’ing!