MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – PILLOWS, HITCHING & BURGER KING

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
bar dotsOVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
bar dotsYOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
bar dotsBURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
#getalife
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather

 

 


TOUGH TITTY TUESDAY – CALM DOWN BABS

TOUGH TITTY TUESAYbar dotsbar dotsYa’ know. Some people would bitch if they were hung with a new rope.
Apparently, Barbra Streisand decided that there wasn’t enough important shit going on in the world. She had to pick a fight with Siri.
Siri? A computerized assistant? Yep. That’s the one.
For those of you who aren’t up on who Siri is and what she does, you can read about it here.
Siri is an Apple app that talks to you, much like your GPS in your vehicle.
So ‘ol Babs doesn’t like the way Siri says her name.
(Anybody have a tissue?)
Seriously. Not even kidding. A computerized, robotic assistant on your phone or iPad and Barbra Streisand is bitching about her.
                     (Picture stolen from CNN.money.com)bar dotsLong story short. – And you can read the full story over at CNN Money. – Barbra Streisand does what any one of us would do when we don’t like the way Siri says our name. She calls the head of Apple and bitches to him about it and pussy that he is, he tells her he’ll get right on it and make sure that Siri – not a real human being folks – pronounces Barbra’s name correctly by the end of Sept.
Are you fucking kidding me?
If only she’d used her “star power” to call the governor of Louisianna to find out how big of a check she should tell Siri to write out to help the flood victims!
But no. Clearly, it’s more important that some computerized assistant pronounce her name correctly.
bar dotsIf I were the head of Apple and ‘ol Babs called me to bitch about something so incredibly trivial. Guess what I’d be telling her???
That’s right – TOUGH TITTY BABS!
bar dots
Apparently, you do Babs otherwise, you wouldn’t be bitching about Siri.
bar dotsTOUGH TITTY TUESDAY “TO DO’s” –
**Sew
**Sew
And…
**Sew!

We’re getting a break from the triple-digit heat. Only in the 80’s all week and that’s a huge relief. If it’s not too smoky I’ll take lit’l Miss Luci up to the trails tomorrow morning. She got groomed today and it wiped her out.
bar dotsHappy ‘Tough Titty Tuesday’ folks!
If you could call up the head of any company and bitch, who would it be and why?
I’d call McDonald’s because ya’ know what? I think they’ve been in business long enough that they could have figured out how to make a lid for their flippin’ cups that doesn’t cause the entire drink to pour down the front of your shirt every time you try to take a sip!
bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
bar dotsfeather