Author: Magical Mystical Mimi

SPAM-A-LICIOUS!

Nooooooooo. Not that kind!

THIS kind…
Gilly, Molly, Bijoux –
I am so sorry for your missed comments!

Interestingly enough they went into the spam folder in between…
1.) “Hot Asian” chicks
– (No. Me no love you long time!)
2.) “Hot Russian” chicks – (Nit!)
3.) One good ‘ol U-S-of-A chick that wants to know if I like her “delicious” tits.
– (Yeah no. I rock the pole, not the hole.)
And last but not least because spam does not discriminate between the males and females…
4.) Some guy who will masturbate on the webcam for me.
– (Seriously? You can get that for free and in person at the local porn shop.)

So, whilst keeping an extremely watchful eye on the gloopy poop pup for the past couple of days I’ve been sorting thru my WordPress and Gmail accounts and let me just say, I should probably keep a watchful eye on all 3!

Note to self – Some people, judging only from my emails and spam, mostly Russians and Asians, have waaaaay too much time on their hands.
Also – Senior dogs and bacon do not go well together.
NO! You cannot!!
It’s Monday and I have no idea where the weekend went. It’s just a blur to me!
I know I did a shit ton of laundry and carpet cleaning.
I think I did some writing, some reading, some crocheting, and some quilting.

Oh. We got new neighbors upstairs and next door. So far so good. A couple moved in upstairs and they’re relatively quiet and the ones next door are African refugees, a mom, and some kids. They don’t speak English so I’m pretty sure our neighborly interactions upstairs and next door will consist of hellos and head nods.

Sounds perfect… Unless they decide to “borrow” my patio chairs…

Okay, your turn!
Share your top 3 spam-a-licious spam comments.
I know you’ve got ’em.
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
This Spam(alot)? Super cool.
#MontyPythonFan
Time – 8:55pm
Temp – 79 degrees F – A nice n’ sunny day.
Mood – Pissy
Bitch, bitch, bitch – When you have the air conditioner on all day and it gives you that fake cold with a stuffy nose and scratchy throat.
Best thing – Honey drops to soothe my throat.
Be well.
MiMi

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – I’m pretty sure he just called you fat…

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist.
These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.
Thick tattooed lady (Caldwell blvd mcDonalds)

***Okay, right outta’ the gate. “Thick tattooed lady” whoever you are.
Along with stalking you on Craigslist he just called you fat.
My advice? Run, walk or roll as far away from this guy and McDonalds apparently as fast as you can!***

You were at McDonalds today when i complimented your ink .Unsure if you heard me but i said i had a chucky tattoo as well but u had your hands full with your kids (they called you mommy so i assume they were your kids) i cant stop thinking about how beautiful you are.

You walked with so much confidence i could tell you are successful in life. You carry yourself very well and very precise i would love to get to no u. and take you out. if you see this reply with the names you have tattooed on your face an. the color of bandana shoes taht you were wearing. I hope you see this

***Hhhhmmm. I wonder what about this thick fat ass tattooed woman screeeaaammmed success.
Let’s see… Was it…

A – The fact that she was eating at McDonalds
B – The way she carried herself with such confidence and precision
OR
CCCCCCCCCCCC – The tattoos ON HER FACE and the BANDANA SHOES  that she was wearing????***

What the actual fuck????? Seriously????
THIS, thissssss is your measuring stick for success???

There’s an old saying, “There’s a lid for every pot.”
With the Craigslist “Missed Connection” section there should be a straight jacket for every nut job.

ALSO – The typos in the Craigslist “I’m stalking you” post are aaallll on them.
Hey, hey, hey!!! It’s Monday!! A brand new week with brand new opportunities and adventures waiting! Or maybe it’s just fucking Monday…
I know, I know. Ya’ can’t make ice cream outta’ horse shit.

Anything thrilling and spine chilling planned for the week ahead??

For me, it’s all about this fabulous weather so aside from the normal rigga ma row
– drs appts, errands n’ such –
I will be outside as much as possible warming these old bones and enjoying the beautiful sunshine!

I hope you have a great beginning to a great week ahead!
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Time – 7:51am
Temp – 63 degrees F/ High 84 – SUNSHINE!!!
Mood – Great!
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Nada
Best thing – Waking up in a great mood!
Be well.
MiMi

SORRY, WRONG NUMBER

At some point in our lives, we’ve all made the “sorry you’ve got the wrong number” call.

Years ago I called my little sister’s house on Super Bowl Sunday and as soon as her husband answered, me being me, bursts into…

ME –  “Can you fucking believe that ref?? He’s either working for the other team or he’s fucking blind!”

MY BRO IN LAW – Laughing, laughing, laughing.

ME – “Okay… Let me talk to my sister.”

MY BRO IN LAW – “Okay… Who’s your sister?”

ME (being me again) – “Okay jackass put my sister on the phone.”

More laughing and now I’m out of patience because of course, I would call my sister last minute for a recipe on the day that I need the recipe!
Anyway…

MY BRO IN LAW – “No, really who’s your sister?”

Now I’m all pissy.
ME – “Just get my sister please.”

Now it’s roaring laughter and then the light bulb comes on…
I DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER!!!!
Now I join in the laughter and I’m apologizing and whoever is on the other end of the phone NOT my bro in law was watching the game – thankfully – and he thought the ref was crooked too.
 Anyway, long story not so short. When I came across the pic below it made me think of my “sorry wrong number” story.
Raise your hand if you’ve got a “sorry wrong number” story because you know I want to hear about it!
Drop it in the comments below.

If your “sorry wrong number” story is a long story not so short, blog about it so the world wide web can laugh along!
Happy June and happy Saturday, folks!
Who’s got plans??

Wherever you go, whatever you do, be safe and have fun!
I wish for you beautiful blue skies, plenty of sunshine and temps perfect enough to not melt your face off.
You’re welcome.
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Only 6 months away…
Don’t shoot the messenger.
Time – 9:56am
Temp – 64 degrees F/ High 76 – Chance of storms.
Mood – Better
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Zero
Best thing – Waking with purpose.
Be well.
Mimi

THANKFUL THURSDAY – The neighbor edition

I’m thankful that I did not go full bore psycho bitch on my “sort of neighbor” in the next building over when I found my patio chairs on her patio and I thought she had stolen them.

I’m thankful that this “sort of neighbor” did not answer the door when I went over to go full bore psycho bitch in her face for stealing my chairs.
Also. There would have been a huge language barrier and then I would’ve gone full bore American on her too!
I’m thankful that this “sort of neighbor” is now – courtesy of management –
fully aware that what may be considered borrowing in her country is fucking stealing in ours!

I’m thankful that the kids and their father from next door who took stole my chairs and hauled them over to my “sort of neighbor” because hey, that’s their friend and apparently they just thought they could take my shit and visit a while???
Yeah. I’m thankful they moved the fuck out.
I’m thankful that one of our upstairs neighbors also moved out. They played shitty music and walked around barefoot everywhere and tho it’s no business of mine I just thought it was gross.
Ugh….
Those are my thankful thoughts for the day. How ’bout you?
What are you thankful for?

Raise your hand if you’re in an area where you’re thankful for non-stop rain.
Yeah… Not me. I used to miss the fact that Idaho very little rain but after a month in rainy Michigan and now since I’ve been back every day it’s raining???
A little break would be nice.
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Time – 5:36pm
Temp – 68 degrees F/ High 74 – I’m guessing we won’t be reaching that high…
Mood – Sad
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Wasting time on stupid movies.
Best thing – Phone call from my daughter.
Be well.
MiMi

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY – NO WORDS

Last year on this day in Indiana my brother died of stomach cancer.

Last year on this day here in Idaho my sister was in my living room hooked up to feeding tubes dying of stomach cancer.

There really are no words.

Because I’m happy….

Post a funny picture. Post a not so funny picture.
Post whatever weirdness you want. That’s it.
(verbage ganked from Sandee)

Join in the fun over at Sandee’s place ‘Comedy Plus!’
Guess which one I would carry!!!
Which would you choose???
                              (photo credit)
That’s it that’s all folks!
Head over to ‘Comedy Plus‘ and play along!!
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Time – 8:29am
Temp – 55 degrees F/High 72F wiiitthhhh, shocking! STORMS!
Mood – Determined
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Zero fucks given
Best thing – Honey/clay facial mask
Be well.
MiMi

SWEET STREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE

You stream, I stream, we all stream for…..!!!

Raise your hand if you watch/stream any of these channels.
I am guilty of all 5 and I even pay extra to have no commercials.
FYI – Waaay cheaper than having cable altho I do have a small antenna hooked up to my tv for local channels.

I will confess that the only reason I got HBO Now was for Game of Thrones but now that that’s heartbreakingly over I’m considering dropping that one. I haven’t found anything else on HBO that I can’t live without.

If any of you have an HBO show that is a must see drop it in the comments and I’ll check it out.
I’m currently into a show on Amazon called, ‘Bosch.’
Netflix is my personal favorite because it saves some great shows!
Like this one that everybody laughs at me for watching but I love it and I wish there were more episodes in the works!
And, of course, this one… Crossing my fingers, eyes, and toes for a Season 5!!
Hulu is great for catching up on episodes of weekly shows on tv that you may have missed.
I think this is a great show. It’s on Fox.
This pretty much covers YouTube for me.
Okay. Your turn. Tell me what you’re streaming and if you’re not streaming what the hell are you watching on your 500 channel 499 of them sports cable package??
I hope you’re all having a safe Memorial Day and saying a big thank you to those who died allowing us the freedom to have our bbq’s and take that extra day off of work.

Did anyone have cookouts this weekend or go to any?
What was on the menu??

It has been a tough week for me as it is my sister’s first birthday – May 26 – since she died in October of stomach cancer. I just keep thinking wishing that she should still be here…
IN OTHER NEWS –
Looks to be a beautiful day today, lots of sunshine and I hope I didn’t just jinx myself into another rainy afternoon because I’d really like to just kick back on the back patio with a good book and some good wine!
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Time – 18:51am
Temp – 50 degrees F/High today, 71 with THUNDERSTORMS!
Mood – Sad
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Idiot neighbors. – An upcoming post.
Best thing – Sunshine for the moment.
Be well.

GROUP HUG!

Yay for those of us being in the coolest blogging group on the world wide web!

And a standing invitation to ANYONE who wants to hang with the “cool kids.”
C’mon. You know you want to…
Just click on the pic below to join in!
I’m SO happy to have some of the best bloggers I have ever read all in one place!
Thank you all for participating and making this group possible.
Now it’s OUR group and not just mine.

Group hug! Group hug!
Raise your hand if you’re happy to see Monday in the rearview mirror.
Meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I finally got caught up on my vacation laundry and then I started cleaning and reorganizing my room, a.k.a the craft room with a bed in the middle of it, and now I have moooorrrrre laundry!
Ugh.

My reorganization is slow going. I’ve tossed a lot of things but I think I need to do more…
Maybe I need to call Marie Kondo.
Have any of you watched this show on Netflix????
So annoying…
I don’t know Marie… I didn’t feel like I was sparking a lot of joy yesterday…
Seriously…
Oh, and this?
This is never happening, Marie!!!
You can keep your tiny Asian voice and those tiny Asian hands outta’ my stuff!

Ya’ wanna’ know why???
Because every single one of my fucking craft supplies SPARK JOY!

Needless-to-say, you’ll probably never see me on an episode of
‘Tidying Up With Marie Kondo’ but you may see me here…
On tap for today?? MORE tossing and organizing!!
I’ll also be working on some crafts and crocheting.
My goal is to use up the craft/fabric/vinyl/paint that I have now before purchasing anymore.
So far, so good.
This is so true…
If you do, how do you most express your creativity?
If you don’t consider yourself crafty, do you have any other hobbies that “spark your joy???”
You know the drill.
Leave ’em in the comments because you know what a nosey bitch I am.
MIMI’S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY –
Time – 12:48pm
Temp – 53 degrees F/High today, 58 – Rain off n’ on
Mood – Feeling like a sloth.
Bitch, bitch, bitch – Really shitty sleep last night.
Best thing – Open windows!!!
Be well.